THE STARR SISTERS: OLD AND NEW HOLLYWOOD
We'd like to invite our readers to enjoy our new column in THE BEVERLY HILLS SHEET, online at www. Beverly Hills Sheet.com. Check out the April/May issue on page 14 and join the fun!!!
Showing posts with label lindsay lohan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lindsay lohan. Show all posts
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
OLD & NEW HOLLYWOOD GO CRAZY!!
CELEBS FLASHING THE PINK. Listen up, Paris, Britney and Lindsay…You party girls DID NOT invent snatch flashing or the prodigious use of mind altering substances. One needs the equilibrium of a Whirling Dervish to keep up with all the Old Hollywood gals who exhibited their privates to a panting world. Hedy Lamarr, a delectable Austrian pastry, made her screen debut flashing full frontal nudity in the silent movie, Ecstasy. The actress became a Hollywood screen legend in Cecil B. DeMille’s epic, Samson & Delilah. Hedy invented the technology for the cellphone, but let the patent lapse. Others made millions. Paris, ever hear of Tallulah Bankhead, an aristocratic Southern Belle whose daddy was the U.S. Speaker of the House, third in line for the Presidency? This sexy actress was by her own admission “as pure as the driven slush”. Born over a 100 years ago, Tallulah smoked 100 cigarettes a day, drank cases of gin and bourbon daily, and carried a suitcase full of drugs, declaring: “Cocaine isn’t habit forming. I should know, I’ve been using it for years.” Tallulah went to parties nude, wearing only a single strand of pearls as she sat on a baby grand warbling. She was an avid bisexual who slept with hundreds of men AND women, including Hattie McDaniel (the first black actress to win an Oscar portraying “Mammy” in Gone With The Wind), Greta Garbo and Russian born silent film star Nazimova, the lesbian godmother of former First Lady Nancy Reagan. Tallulah once observed: “My daddy warned me about men and liquor, but he never mentioned women and cocaine.” Unlike Paris, Britney and Lindsay, Tallulah knew from irony and wit. But like them, Tallulah was a shameless flasher of the pink to EVERYONE. While making the Oscar winning Alfred Hitchcock movie, Lifeboat, she never wore panties and loved to shock the cast and crew by climbing up a ladder to the boat, skirt purposely hiked up to publicly expose her privates. When 20th Century Fox head Darryl Zanuck demanded that Hitchcock do something, the director contemptuously replied: “It’s not my department.” The studio chief demanded: “Well, whose department is it?” Hitchcock pondered for a moment, then answered: “Wardrobe or…perhaps hairdressing.”
MR. PRESIDENT, YOU AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A HORNDOG. Producer/actor Ashton Kutcher recalls the time he and his wife Demi Moore met the 42nd President of the United States: “Bill Clinton was the only President I ever met, but it was like I wasn’t there. HE WAS HITTING ON MY WIFE.” Many wish the Prez would have been so single minded in his pursuit of Osama Bin Laden, and nailed HIM in the Sudan in the mid 90’s.
DEAD STARS SELL THE GOODS. The style and panache of Old Hollywood is the gift that keeps giving. Audrey Hepburn, dead for 13 years is in an ad campaign for the Gap, elegantly dancing in a scene from Funny Face, a movie she made 50 years ago. The spot hawks slender, black Gap jeans for a New Millenium of consumers. The ever magical Hepburn joins her departed co-stars Fred Astaire (Dirt Devil), John Wayne (Coors) and Humphrey Bogart (Diet Coke & Thomasville Furniture) on the posthumous marketing campaign trail.
ALL SHRINKS TO GREY’S ANATOMY, STAT! Why is the brilliant producer/writer
Shondra Rhimes allowing the boorish Isaiah Washington to sabotage her groundbreaking network mega-hit? FIRE HIM! Why hasn’t this violent thespian had a criminal conviction for his long list of violent transgressions on numerous productions? From the allegations against Mr. Washington, it would appear he’s an equal opportunity rageaholic. Last fall, the pretend doctor assaulted his co-star Patrick Dempsey on the set, choking him after Dr. McDreamy defended castmate T. R. Knight against Washington’s homophobic slur. After Grey’s Anatomy won a Golden Globe for Best TV Series Drama, Washington grabbed the mike from producer Rhimes in front of the entire cast to announce: “No, I did not call T.R. a $#@. Never happened…” Rhimes giggled nervously instead of verbally clocking him.To save his job, Washington entered a 30-day rehab, but was released after a week of counseling, miraculously exorcising his demons in record time. The poster boy for anger management’s hit parade: During filming of the TV show High Incident, Washington got into a fight with a crew member that was vicious enough for the police to be called in. They handcuffed Washington and took him off in a squad car. “He grabbed my throat, choking me. Then he picked me up and threw me over the couch,” the alleged victim told The National Enquirer. While filming Soul Food for Showtime, Washington attacked his actress co-star with a “forceful, aggressive” kiss that caused her to scream. When Executive Producer Tracey Edmonds (“Babyface’s ex-wife) and the director stepped in to calm the situation, Washington went off on them, too. The hair trigger tempered actor also came to blows with a straight, black actor on the set of a play a few years back. Many show biz folks say Washington’s not anti-gay, he’s been angry toward EVERYBODY over the years. Isaiah Washington still has a bullet hole in his right leg, which he admits sustaining because, “I was young and dumb…And one day I popped off my mouth to the wrong person and got shot.” If Producer Rhimes doesn’t fire this guy, may we suggest she write Washington’s character as a newly uncloseted gay doc who plays steamy sex scenes with hot studmuffins for the show’s duration.
QUOTES OF THE DAY.
“Sometimes I wish Pam would turn lesbian.”
Pamela Anderson’s mother reflecting on her daughter’s
liaisons with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels and Kid Rock.
“One inch less and he’d be the Queen of Hollywood.”
Carole Lombard’s yardstick appraisal of her
hubby Clark Gable
MR. PRESIDENT, YOU AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A HORNDOG. Producer/actor Ashton Kutcher recalls the time he and his wife Demi Moore met the 42nd President of the United States: “Bill Clinton was the only President I ever met, but it was like I wasn’t there. HE WAS HITTING ON MY WIFE.” Many wish the Prez would have been so single minded in his pursuit of Osama Bin Laden, and nailed HIM in the Sudan in the mid 90’s.
DEAD STARS SELL THE GOODS. The style and panache of Old Hollywood is the gift that keeps giving. Audrey Hepburn, dead for 13 years is in an ad campaign for the Gap, elegantly dancing in a scene from Funny Face, a movie she made 50 years ago. The spot hawks slender, black Gap jeans for a New Millenium of consumers. The ever magical Hepburn joins her departed co-stars Fred Astaire (Dirt Devil), John Wayne (Coors) and Humphrey Bogart (Diet Coke & Thomasville Furniture) on the posthumous marketing campaign trail.
ALL SHRINKS TO GREY’S ANATOMY, STAT! Why is the brilliant producer/writer
Shondra Rhimes allowing the boorish Isaiah Washington to sabotage her groundbreaking network mega-hit? FIRE HIM! Why hasn’t this violent thespian had a criminal conviction for his long list of violent transgressions on numerous productions? From the allegations against Mr. Washington, it would appear he’s an equal opportunity rageaholic. Last fall, the pretend doctor assaulted his co-star Patrick Dempsey on the set, choking him after Dr. McDreamy defended castmate T. R. Knight against Washington’s homophobic slur. After Grey’s Anatomy won a Golden Globe for Best TV Series Drama, Washington grabbed the mike from producer Rhimes in front of the entire cast to announce: “No, I did not call T.R. a $#@. Never happened…” Rhimes giggled nervously instead of verbally clocking him.To save his job, Washington entered a 30-day rehab, but was released after a week of counseling, miraculously exorcising his demons in record time. The poster boy for anger management’s hit parade: During filming of the TV show High Incident, Washington got into a fight with a crew member that was vicious enough for the police to be called in. They handcuffed Washington and took him off in a squad car. “He grabbed my throat, choking me. Then he picked me up and threw me over the couch,” the alleged victim told The National Enquirer. While filming Soul Food for Showtime, Washington attacked his actress co-star with a “forceful, aggressive” kiss that caused her to scream. When Executive Producer Tracey Edmonds (“Babyface’s ex-wife) and the director stepped in to calm the situation, Washington went off on them, too. The hair trigger tempered actor also came to blows with a straight, black actor on the set of a play a few years back. Many show biz folks say Washington’s not anti-gay, he’s been angry toward EVERYBODY over the years. Isaiah Washington still has a bullet hole in his right leg, which he admits sustaining because, “I was young and dumb…And one day I popped off my mouth to the wrong person and got shot.” If Producer Rhimes doesn’t fire this guy, may we suggest she write Washington’s character as a newly uncloseted gay doc who plays steamy sex scenes with hot studmuffins for the show’s duration.
QUOTES OF THE DAY.
“Sometimes I wish Pam would turn lesbian.”
Pamela Anderson’s mother reflecting on her daughter’s
liaisons with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels and Kid Rock.
“One inch less and he’d be the Queen of Hollywood.”
Carole Lombard’s yardstick appraisal of her
hubby Clark Gable
(c) 2007, Sistarrs International
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
PAM AND KID IN RACE TO DIVORCE COURT
A sure fire way for celebs to make a final decision with their off again/on again love affairs is to get hitched. For four years Pam Anderson and the Kid Rocked and rolled through the vineyards of passion and kaput. Then three months ago they apparently got heat stroke in the south of France and tied the knot...NOT!
Monday morning they still couldn't keep their hands off of each other...in divorce court! According to TMZ.com, Kid's process server arrived with the divorce papers before the courthouse opened. HIS divorce documents were stamped at 8:35 a.m., five minutes after the clerk's office opened. Pam's process server lost the race, arriving 53 minutes later to file HER papers.
What happened to the Wholesome Twosome after no less than four wedding ceremonies: St. Tropez, Beverly Hills, Nashville and Detroit? Jet lag? Well, the groupie loving, booze guzzling, stripper addicted Kid ain't talkin' yet, but Pam's "close friends" are dropping some tidbits about as prolifically as a gaggle of New York pigeons...stool pigeons on crack.
"His male insecurity and major anger issues" were the deal breaker according to one friend.
Another Pam "insider" tattled to Page Six that a private screening of the hit mockumentary,
Borat, at Universal Studio's chief Ron Meyer's Beverly Hills home two weeks ago was the scene of a marital meltdown.
Seems Kid failed to get the running joke: the faux Kazakhstan journalist Borat (actor Sasha Baron Cohen) falls in love with the Baywatch babe after seeing Pam in a rerun, and drives cross-country to propose marriage to her. The friend told Page Six about the connubial explosion that took place at the screening.
"Bob (Kid Rock) started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing."
Listen, Kid-do...what about your mass shtups with groupies on the road and your self-acknowledged addiction to strippers and porn stars? We'd say you qualify at the ballot box for male slut/whore...Have you never seen your beloved's website photos or the "Comedy Central Roast of Pam Anderson"? Ah, where does "love" go. The very things we love about a person in the good old days become evangelical judgements around divorce time.
The friend (or PR spin doctor?) continues: "Bob is a very unhappy man and angry man. Pam is very disenchanted and sad. You know there are reasons she never married him before...she knows now they never really went away."
Pam, who suffered a miscarriage last month (is it safe to have a kid with Kid when she's got Hepatitis C?) left her Malibu home with her kids for a Santa Monica Hotel while Kid packs up his shit and moves out.
Perhaps stars should have their fame and fortune put into escrow before going for a marriage license. If they had the same real life yardstick as the rest of us, they might give a little more thought to the toll of a divorce on the psyche, the kids and the bank account. A few months alone on Exile Island might help.
Quote of the Day
"I wish Pam would become a lesbian. Her taste in men is up her a**."
Pam's mom after her liaisons with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels & Kid Rock.
For more salacious details, listen to Starr Secrets podcast: Pam Anderson & Gandhi: Sexy Vegetarians.
Unholy Trinity: Paris, Britney & Lindsay
We need a score card and the equilibrium of a Whirling Dervish to keep up with these three
gals who burn the candle at both ends and then some. The newly separated Britney Spears
has teamed up with her idol Paris Hilton for some tutelage in debauchery and work ethic middle fingering.
They've been clubbing until 6 in the morning causing workaholic Britney to miss recording sessions. The Baby Madonna's also taking skank fashion tips from her new best friend. Mimicking Paris, Britney's stopped wearing underwear and now flashes her crotch to the paparazzi. Her raison d'etre: "I gave birth for over 2 years and now I want to party."
Paris is now Britney's roommate at her Malibu mansion so that the two newfound "sisters" can operate more efficiently. K-Fed is lookin' mighty good in the rear view mirror...go know!
Paris kissed and made up recently with her former nemesis, Lindsay ("Firecrotch") Lohan,
and the two are out and about, arm in arm, flashing their pubes. Jeez, girls, don't be so cruel to the panty peddlers. They gotta hustle, too!
Listen, ladies, you didn't invent party girl perversions or snatch flashing. Ever hear of Tallulah Bankhead, a rich Southern Belle whose daddy was U.S. Speaker of the House, third in line for U.S. President? This sexy actress by her own admission was "as pure as the driven slush". Born a 100 years ago, Tallulah smoked over 100 cigarettes a day, drank cases of gin and bourbon daily, carried a suitcase full of drugs to help her sleep and declared: "Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know, I've been using it for years."
The debutante/actress was nude most of the time. Her best friend wryly observed: "I don't know why Tallulah runs around naked. She has such pretty frocks." She was a bisexual who slept with hundreds of men and women, including Hattie McDaniel ("Mammy" in "Gone with the Wind"), Greta Garbo and silent film star Nazimova, the lesbian godmother of First Lady Nancy Reagan.
Like Paris, Lindsay and Britney, Tallulah was an unashamed exhibitionist who loved flashing her pubes to EVERYONE. While making the Oscar winning 1944 Alfred Hitchcock movie, "Lifeboat", she never wore underwear and loved shocking the cast and crew as she climbed up a ladder, skirt hiked up, and exposed ALL.
When the director was asked to do something, Hitchcock replied: "It's not my department." The complainer demanded: "Well, whose department is it?" Hitchcock thought for a moment and then said: "Wardrobe, or perhaps hairdressing."
What a dame! No wonder Demi Moore named her daughter for Tallulah.
For more salacious details, listen to next week's Starr Secrets podcast: "Anna Nicole Smith & Tallulah Bankhead: Dixie Girls Gone Wild!"
Update on "Kramer in the Krapper"
"Smart mouths opening to say apologies don't come cheap...Watch for newfound Michael Richards donations to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson pet causes," says Cindy Adams in her New York Post column. Only in Cindy Adams, kids...this broad tells it straight.
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Monday morning they still couldn't keep their hands off of each other...in divorce court! According to TMZ.com, Kid's process server arrived with the divorce papers before the courthouse opened. HIS divorce documents were stamped at 8:35 a.m., five minutes after the clerk's office opened. Pam's process server lost the race, arriving 53 minutes later to file HER papers.
What happened to the Wholesome Twosome after no less than four wedding ceremonies: St. Tropez, Beverly Hills, Nashville and Detroit? Jet lag? Well, the groupie loving, booze guzzling, stripper addicted Kid ain't talkin' yet, but Pam's "close friends" are dropping some tidbits about as prolifically as a gaggle of New York pigeons...stool pigeons on crack.
"His male insecurity and major anger issues" were the deal breaker according to one friend.
Another Pam "insider" tattled to Page Six that a private screening of the hit mockumentary,
Borat, at Universal Studio's chief Ron Meyer's Beverly Hills home two weeks ago was the scene of a marital meltdown.
Seems Kid failed to get the running joke: the faux Kazakhstan journalist Borat (actor Sasha Baron Cohen) falls in love with the Baywatch babe after seeing Pam in a rerun, and drives cross-country to propose marriage to her. The friend told Page Six about the connubial explosion that took place at the screening.
"Bob (Kid Rock) started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing."
Listen, Kid-do...what about your mass shtups with groupies on the road and your self-acknowledged addiction to strippers and porn stars? We'd say you qualify at the ballot box for male slut/whore...Have you never seen your beloved's website photos or the "Comedy Central Roast of Pam Anderson"? Ah, where does "love" go. The very things we love about a person in the good old days become evangelical judgements around divorce time.
The friend (or PR spin doctor?) continues: "Bob is a very unhappy man and angry man. Pam is very disenchanted and sad. You know there are reasons she never married him before...she knows now they never really went away."
Pam, who suffered a miscarriage last month (is it safe to have a kid with Kid when she's got Hepatitis C?) left her Malibu home with her kids for a Santa Monica Hotel while Kid packs up his shit and moves out.
Perhaps stars should have their fame and fortune put into escrow before going for a marriage license. If they had the same real life yardstick as the rest of us, they might give a little more thought to the toll of a divorce on the psyche, the kids and the bank account. A few months alone on Exile Island might help.
Quote of the Day
"I wish Pam would become a lesbian. Her taste in men is up her a**."
Pam's mom after her liaisons with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels & Kid Rock.
For more salacious details, listen to Starr Secrets podcast: Pam Anderson & Gandhi: Sexy Vegetarians.
Unholy Trinity: Paris, Britney & Lindsay
We need a score card and the equilibrium of a Whirling Dervish to keep up with these three
gals who burn the candle at both ends and then some. The newly separated Britney Spears
has teamed up with her idol Paris Hilton for some tutelage in debauchery and work ethic middle fingering.
They've been clubbing until 6 in the morning causing workaholic Britney to miss recording sessions. The Baby Madonna's also taking skank fashion tips from her new best friend. Mimicking Paris, Britney's stopped wearing underwear and now flashes her crotch to the paparazzi. Her raison d'etre: "I gave birth for over 2 years and now I want to party."
Paris is now Britney's roommate at her Malibu mansion so that the two newfound "sisters" can operate more efficiently. K-Fed is lookin' mighty good in the rear view mirror...go know!
Paris kissed and made up recently with her former nemesis, Lindsay ("Firecrotch") Lohan,
and the two are out and about, arm in arm, flashing their pubes. Jeez, girls, don't be so cruel to the panty peddlers. They gotta hustle, too!
Listen, ladies, you didn't invent party girl perversions or snatch flashing. Ever hear of Tallulah Bankhead, a rich Southern Belle whose daddy was U.S. Speaker of the House, third in line for U.S. President? This sexy actress by her own admission was "as pure as the driven slush". Born a 100 years ago, Tallulah smoked over 100 cigarettes a day, drank cases of gin and bourbon daily, carried a suitcase full of drugs to help her sleep and declared: "Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know, I've been using it for years."
The debutante/actress was nude most of the time. Her best friend wryly observed: "I don't know why Tallulah runs around naked. She has such pretty frocks." She was a bisexual who slept with hundreds of men and women, including Hattie McDaniel ("Mammy" in "Gone with the Wind"), Greta Garbo and silent film star Nazimova, the lesbian godmother of First Lady Nancy Reagan.
Like Paris, Lindsay and Britney, Tallulah was an unashamed exhibitionist who loved flashing her pubes to EVERYONE. While making the Oscar winning 1944 Alfred Hitchcock movie, "Lifeboat", she never wore underwear and loved shocking the cast and crew as she climbed up a ladder, skirt hiked up, and exposed ALL.
When the director was asked to do something, Hitchcock replied: "It's not my department." The complainer demanded: "Well, whose department is it?" Hitchcock thought for a moment and then said: "Wardrobe, or perhaps hairdressing."
What a dame! No wonder Demi Moore named her daughter for Tallulah.
For more salacious details, listen to next week's Starr Secrets podcast: "Anna Nicole Smith & Tallulah Bankhead: Dixie Girls Gone Wild!"
Update on "Kramer in the Krapper"
"Smart mouths opening to say apologies don't come cheap...Watch for newfound Michael Richards donations to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson pet causes," says Cindy Adams in her New York Post column. Only in Cindy Adams, kids...this broad tells it straight.
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
COURT TO BRITNEY: SEXPOTS CAN'T SUE
A Los Angeles judge tossed out Britney Spears' defamation lawsuit against US Weekly for
publishing rumors that she and her husband Kevin Federline had made a sex videotape.
The story appeared in the glossy tabloid on Oct. 17, 2005: "Brit and Kev: Secret Sex Tape? New parents have new worry."
Superior Court Judge Lisa Hart Cole ruled that the pop tart with the hypersexed public image cannot be defamed by this published report as, "the plaintiff herself has put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye."
Let's get real! In this day and age, it's hardly actionable to allege that someone has made a sex videotape. Britney can't have it both ways. She's tongued Madonna in front of millions at the Grammy Awards, filmed her cheater husband stark naked for millions of reality show
gawkers and dressed like a lascivious Lolita strip queen for most of her uber-successful shows. If anyone has a beef it's PETA advocate Pamela Anderson. She had a private tape of her and well-hung hubby, Tommy "The Salami" Lee, stolen from her home and sold over the Internet for megamillions. She lost her lawsuit. Talk about a raw deal!!
BEWARE OF PREACHERS AND SELF HELP GURUS DOING TIME
Oy vey, the latest ordained-by-mail jailhouse minister is none other than Lindsay Lohan's
career criminal dad, Michael, reports Cindy Adams of the New York Post. (See our podcast and blog on "Stars with Jailbird Dads") After a 20 year career of stock fraud, vicious assaults, death threats against his family, and a losing battle with drugs and alcohol, this loser has now been "saved".
"I've taken a Bible college mail course from Global University and been ordained in the Assemblies of God Ministry. When I'm out, I'll be a minister. The pastor in prison works with me. Maybe that's why all this happened, why I'm here. To help people."
The jailbird dad, who's just been denied parole, is talking to the New York literary agent who represents Barack Obama and Judge Judy about a how-to, self-help, pop culture, inspirational, "I've been saved and seen the light" book.
To think, they remove voiceboxes from poor peacocks just so that they remain a thing of beauty, silent and not screeching in their high octave squawk. And this creepy dad can't be shut up even in prison. Luckily for the family, he has to do at least another 10 months before he breaks out with a book and a weekly visit to his parole officer. The publishing industry seems to be in one of the deeper circles of Dante's hell. Paris Hilton and Pam Anderson are now bestselling authors...
MEANWHILE LINDSAY GETS A RAVE REVIEW
"She's a sweetheart. She's in the eye of the storm all the time. We expect maybe too much from her privately. We want her to be sexy and then demure on demand. She's just doing what every 19 or 20 year old is doing. But very professional on the set."
Joshua Jackson, co-star on the movie "Bobby" with Lindsay Lohan
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?
Joe DiMaggio's niece June claims in her new book, "Marilyn, Joe and Me" that Marilyn Monroe was talking on the phone with her mother 36 years ago when assassins crept into the blonde sex goddess' disheveled bedroom, attacked her and stuffed a fatal Nembutal suppository up her rectum. June DiMaggio alleges that the notorious Chicago Mafioso Sam Giancana, a lover of Monroe's, was behind the hit, which was ordered to permanently shut up the drug addled, boozed up, loose lipped star.
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. There was no indication in the coroner's report that the sleeping pills entered her bloodstream from the usual oral intake, and the phone was found off the hook. Why was her psychiatrist called first by the housekeeper and not an ambulance. Hours later when an ambulance was called, they took her body out only to be summoned back to the house. Marilyn's corpse was then positioned on the bed to await the arrival of the police.
MADONNA TAKES NEW SON TO VISIT AILING DAD
PerezHilton.com reported two weeks ago that Madonna's father is suffering from cancer.
New world traveler, little David Banda Ciccone Ritchie, accompanied by his siblings Lourdes and Rocco, will be visiting the Material Girl's ailing dad in Michigan and meet his new grandpa.
Kudos to Madonna! The baby is a welcome addition to her family and is being treated as such. Alot of celebs leave their kids home with the nanny, but not ubermensch mom Madonna. Brava!!
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Only the good girls keep diaries. The bad girls don't have time."
Tallulah Bankhead, a raunchy southern belle who by her own admission was: "...as
pure as the driven slush."
KIDS, DON'T TRY THIS ON eBay
A Michigan woman won't be charged after trying to sell mummified human remains on eBay.
The remains were once part of a Scottish anatomist's collection that came to the U.S. in 1820.
And that's a wrap!
Now, be the FIRST to go out and dish the down and dirty truths behind today's headlines...AND vote!!
publishing rumors that she and her husband Kevin Federline had made a sex videotape.
The story appeared in the glossy tabloid on Oct. 17, 2005: "Brit and Kev: Secret Sex Tape? New parents have new worry."
Superior Court Judge Lisa Hart Cole ruled that the pop tart with the hypersexed public image cannot be defamed by this published report as, "the plaintiff herself has put her modern sexuality squarely, and profitably, before the public eye."
Let's get real! In this day and age, it's hardly actionable to allege that someone has made a sex videotape. Britney can't have it both ways. She's tongued Madonna in front of millions at the Grammy Awards, filmed her cheater husband stark naked for millions of reality show
gawkers and dressed like a lascivious Lolita strip queen for most of her uber-successful shows. If anyone has a beef it's PETA advocate Pamela Anderson. She had a private tape of her and well-hung hubby, Tommy "The Salami" Lee, stolen from her home and sold over the Internet for megamillions. She lost her lawsuit. Talk about a raw deal!!
BEWARE OF PREACHERS AND SELF HELP GURUS DOING TIME
Oy vey, the latest ordained-by-mail jailhouse minister is none other than Lindsay Lohan's
career criminal dad, Michael, reports Cindy Adams of the New York Post. (See our podcast and blog on "Stars with Jailbird Dads") After a 20 year career of stock fraud, vicious assaults, death threats against his family, and a losing battle with drugs and alcohol, this loser has now been "saved".
"I've taken a Bible college mail course from Global University and been ordained in the Assemblies of God Ministry. When I'm out, I'll be a minister. The pastor in prison works with me. Maybe that's why all this happened, why I'm here. To help people."
The jailbird dad, who's just been denied parole, is talking to the New York literary agent who represents Barack Obama and Judge Judy about a how-to, self-help, pop culture, inspirational, "I've been saved and seen the light" book.
To think, they remove voiceboxes from poor peacocks just so that they remain a thing of beauty, silent and not screeching in their high octave squawk. And this creepy dad can't be shut up even in prison. Luckily for the family, he has to do at least another 10 months before he breaks out with a book and a weekly visit to his parole officer. The publishing industry seems to be in one of the deeper circles of Dante's hell. Paris Hilton and Pam Anderson are now bestselling authors...
MEANWHILE LINDSAY GETS A RAVE REVIEW
"She's a sweetheart. She's in the eye of the storm all the time. We expect maybe too much from her privately. We want her to be sexy and then demure on demand. She's just doing what every 19 or 20 year old is doing. But very professional on the set."
Joshua Jackson, co-star on the movie "Bobby" with Lindsay Lohan
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?
Joe DiMaggio's niece June claims in her new book, "Marilyn, Joe and Me" that Marilyn Monroe was talking on the phone with her mother 36 years ago when assassins crept into the blonde sex goddess' disheveled bedroom, attacked her and stuffed a fatal Nembutal suppository up her rectum. June DiMaggio alleges that the notorious Chicago Mafioso Sam Giancana, a lover of Monroe's, was behind the hit, which was ordered to permanently shut up the drug addled, boozed up, loose lipped star.
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. There was no indication in the coroner's report that the sleeping pills entered her bloodstream from the usual oral intake, and the phone was found off the hook. Why was her psychiatrist called first by the housekeeper and not an ambulance. Hours later when an ambulance was called, they took her body out only to be summoned back to the house. Marilyn's corpse was then positioned on the bed to await the arrival of the police.
MADONNA TAKES NEW SON TO VISIT AILING DAD
PerezHilton.com reported two weeks ago that Madonna's father is suffering from cancer.
New world traveler, little David Banda Ciccone Ritchie, accompanied by his siblings Lourdes and Rocco, will be visiting the Material Girl's ailing dad in Michigan and meet his new grandpa.
Kudos to Madonna! The baby is a welcome addition to her family and is being treated as such. Alot of celebs leave their kids home with the nanny, but not ubermensch mom Madonna. Brava!!
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Only the good girls keep diaries. The bad girls don't have time."
Tallulah Bankhead, a raunchy southern belle who by her own admission was: "...as
pure as the driven slush."
KIDS, DON'T TRY THIS ON eBay
A Michigan woman won't be charged after trying to sell mummified human remains on eBay.
The remains were once part of a Scottish anatomist's collection that came to the U.S. in 1820.
And that's a wrap!
Now, be the FIRST to go out and dish the down and dirty truths behind today's headlines...AND vote!!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
MADONNA AND CHILD
Well, the world might be discussing the propriety of Madonna's move to adopt a 1 year old Malawi tot who has a loving father and granny, but the Material Girl has ruled. The little tyke got whisked away by Madonna's minions yesterday to begin life in the lap of luxury at the diva's London townhouse. Madonna and her filmmaker husband, Guy Ritchie, were granted an interim adoption of baby David. This gives the showbiz parents 18 months temporary custody during which time they will be evaluated by the courts of Malawi.
This is a no-brainer. Madonna's $3 million gift to the orphanage and other programs certainly insures a favorable report. Let's just hope that the little tyke in the end gives his ubermensch mutter a glowing report card. Steven Spielberg once told his free-spirited, ageless mom, Leah Adler: "I won the lottery when I got you as a mom!" May little David say the same thing to his new mommy one day and we'll all happily SHUT UP....
BRANDON DAVIS' KARMIC KICK IN THE ASS
Genetic lottery winner, Brandon Davis, grandson of the gargantuan late oil billionaire, Marvin Davis, may still have a big mouth, but he appears to be running out of dough. The perennial Paris Hilton sidekick and boorish blowhard routinely makes fun of Lindsay Lohan's privates ("firecrotch") and finances ("She's only got $7 million). Well, it appears there is a God. The unemployed, IQ challenged, alleged heir wrote a check to "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis for $10,000 and it bounced, refused because of "insufficient funds" according to "Page Six". It appears he also owes big bucks to a record producer and a casino owner.
Better watch that your always wobbly legs don't get broken in a dark alley like the common folk, Mr. Faux Rich Boy. By the way, we hear that you owe more than one young lady an IOU for your performance in the sack. It would appear Mr. Big Shot has no currency in the REAL world.
ANNA NICOLE WATCH
Day 37 and still no burial for tragic Daniel Smith. He remains in a vault drawer at the morgue in the Bahamas.
EVEN MY EX-PROFESSOR IS BARING ALL!
Seems my ex-creative writing instructor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, former Playboy Playmate Alice Denham, has penned a down and dirty tell-all book, "Sleeping With Bad Boys". The formerly sexy prof tattles that the legendary actor James Dean "was a tender and considerate lover" who was totally hung up on her 36 double D's as soon as he got a load of 'em: "You're so huge for a small girl," he told her. "Jimmy was a t--man, and he loved to nuzzle. He was so skilled." Then in a purely Elvis move, the doomed star asked the woman who I fought with for an "A": "Are you my mother? You are, I think. You look like her." Hugh Hefner chose the future prof as a playmate and proceeded to bed her during a cheesy stag movie. While Hef had "staying power and was a good ride", it was nothing personal. Because the bookish former Bunny is a former academic, she throws ex-lovers Norman Mailer and Philip Roth into the mix, lest we think she's gone Hollywood.
I vividly remember Prof. Denham disrobing during class to the delight of my cop classmates. It seems she was always hot in her sweater and needed to strip down to her undergarment to continue her ascent in the world of pedagogy. She actually outdid the original superstar stripper, Gypsy Rose Lee. I really loved this broad, though we didn't always get along. Nobody EVER slept in her class!! (Randa)
TALIBAN GOES TO POT
The Taliban are hiding behind dense, impenetrable forests of 10 ft. marijuana plants. Canadian forces report that the Taliban terrorists are using the forests for cover. Fighting bush by bush, the Canadians are taking on the unexpected and potent enemy by covering their armored vehicles with the cannabis as camouflage. It's a draw: "Far out, man!"
Now, be the FIRST to go out there and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
This is a no-brainer. Madonna's $3 million gift to the orphanage and other programs certainly insures a favorable report. Let's just hope that the little tyke in the end gives his ubermensch mutter a glowing report card. Steven Spielberg once told his free-spirited, ageless mom, Leah Adler: "I won the lottery when I got you as a mom!" May little David say the same thing to his new mommy one day and we'll all happily SHUT UP....
BRANDON DAVIS' KARMIC KICK IN THE ASS
Genetic lottery winner, Brandon Davis, grandson of the gargantuan late oil billionaire, Marvin Davis, may still have a big mouth, but he appears to be running out of dough. The perennial Paris Hilton sidekick and boorish blowhard routinely makes fun of Lindsay Lohan's privates ("firecrotch") and finances ("She's only got $7 million). Well, it appears there is a God. The unemployed, IQ challenged, alleged heir wrote a check to "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis for $10,000 and it bounced, refused because of "insufficient funds" according to "Page Six". It appears he also owes big bucks to a record producer and a casino owner.
Better watch that your always wobbly legs don't get broken in a dark alley like the common folk, Mr. Faux Rich Boy. By the way, we hear that you owe more than one young lady an IOU for your performance in the sack. It would appear Mr. Big Shot has no currency in the REAL world.
ANNA NICOLE WATCH
Day 37 and still no burial for tragic Daniel Smith. He remains in a vault drawer at the morgue in the Bahamas.
EVEN MY EX-PROFESSOR IS BARING ALL!
Seems my ex-creative writing instructor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, former Playboy Playmate Alice Denham, has penned a down and dirty tell-all book, "Sleeping With Bad Boys". The formerly sexy prof tattles that the legendary actor James Dean "was a tender and considerate lover" who was totally hung up on her 36 double D's as soon as he got a load of 'em: "You're so huge for a small girl," he told her. "Jimmy was a t--man, and he loved to nuzzle. He was so skilled." Then in a purely Elvis move, the doomed star asked the woman who I fought with for an "A": "Are you my mother? You are, I think. You look like her." Hugh Hefner chose the future prof as a playmate and proceeded to bed her during a cheesy stag movie. While Hef had "staying power and was a good ride", it was nothing personal. Because the bookish former Bunny is a former academic, she throws ex-lovers Norman Mailer and Philip Roth into the mix, lest we think she's gone Hollywood.
I vividly remember Prof. Denham disrobing during class to the delight of my cop classmates. It seems she was always hot in her sweater and needed to strip down to her undergarment to continue her ascent in the world of pedagogy. She actually outdid the original superstar stripper, Gypsy Rose Lee. I really loved this broad, though we didn't always get along. Nobody EVER slept in her class!! (Randa)
TALIBAN GOES TO POT
The Taliban are hiding behind dense, impenetrable forests of 10 ft. marijuana plants. Canadian forces report that the Taliban terrorists are using the forests for cover. Fighting bush by bush, the Canadians are taking on the unexpected and potent enemy by covering their armored vehicles with the cannabis as camouflage. It's a draw: "Far out, man!"
Now, be the FIRST to go out there and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Friday, September 29, 2006
SURPRISE!! PARIS HILTON'S A PHONY
& LINDSAY LOHAN'S AN INGRATE
Ah, the rich and famous are different than you and me...they do it bigger and badder...
Former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter is telling tales outta school to shtick jock Howard Stern about his former girlfriend Paris Hilton and their non-steamy sex life. "In the very beginning you know, she was literally cleaning my carpet in my apartment trying to act all domesticated. And then, before you know it, a month or two goes by and it's back to the old nose up in the air and who are you?"
Hey, Nick...maybe YOUR lovemaking wasn't up to snuff and SHE couldn't fake it anymore!
Well, the guy who found and returned a million bucks worth of diamond jewelry to a grateful, no longer distraught Lindsay Lohan, has yet to receive a thank you from the star of Mean Girls. According to Page Six, chauffeur Tom Webster, "found the star's missing Hermes bag that was stuffed with $1 million worth of jewelry and her asthma medicine at Heathrow Airport earlier this month. He says Lohan's London rep promised him a reward or a thank you note, but so far he's received neither."
Lindsay you're lookin' like less than a million bucks and more like a genuine, bona fide MEAN GIRL. Clean up your act already, and then maybe you'll be able to keep a boyfriend of Harry Morton's calibre!
Fun times with your 3-year old...
"A 3-year old boy in Lincolnshire, England, used his mother's computer to buy a car on eBay for $17,100," according to the New York Post.The seller was kind enough to cancel the bid.
Young Jack's next move is to found a toddler eBay site where he can get bids on baby car seats, old bottles and outdated baby formula. We bet he gets a seat on the New York Stock Exchange before he's 4.
Dead Celebrities are Alive and Well in the Land of Commerce
Audrey Hepburn, dead for 13 years, is now starring in an ad campaign for the Gap, elegantly dancing in a scene from "Funny Face", a movie she made 50 years ago. The spot hawks slender, black Gap jeans for a New Millennium of consumers. The ever magical Hepburn joins her dead show biz friends Fred Astaire (Dirt Devil), John Wayne (Coors) and Humphrey Bogart (Diet Coke) on the posthumous marketing campaign trail.
We love the style and panache of Old Hollywood so it's fun to see them as really classy snake oil salespeople. They are, and always will be, the gift that keeps giving!!
Young Jack's next move is to found a toddler eBay site where he can get bids on baby car seats, old bottles and outdated baby formula. We bet he gets a seat on the New York Stock Exchange before he's 4.
Dead Celebrities are Alive and Well in the Land of Commerce
Audrey Hepburn, dead for 13 years, is now starring in an ad campaign for the Gap, elegantly dancing in a scene from "Funny Face", a movie she made 50 years ago. The spot hawks slender, black Gap jeans for a New Millennium of consumers. The ever magical Hepburn joins her dead show biz friends Fred Astaire (Dirt Devil), John Wayne (Coors) and Humphrey Bogart (Diet Coke) on the posthumous marketing campaign trail.
We love the style and panache of Old Hollywood so it's fun to see them as really classy snake oil salespeople. They are, and always will be, the gift that keeps giving!!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Young Hollywood Goes Wild
"Mary Kate Olsen has been the victim of man-stealers in the past. (She lost Stavros Niarchos to Paris Hilton, who then lost him to Lindsay Lohan)... kept a tight rein on her new unidentifiable "rocker-type beau" when she and sister Ashley hung out at Bungalow 8," according to "Page Six". The tiny twin got into a huge fight with another gal and then started a torrid make-out session with him to mark her territory.
Stavros Niarchos is the grandson of the late shipping billionaire who married two sisters, TINA ONASSIS and her sister EUGENIE. They both ended up dead during their marriage to the elder Niarchos. Many suspect Niarchos beat Eugenie to death. Tina then married him to spite her ex-husband ARISTOTLE ONASSIS, Niarchos's rival in the Greek shipping business. The international beauty was found dead of a drug overdose shortly thereafter. So Mary Kate, Paris and Lindsay better a rocker-type beau than a Greek bearing gifts!!
Speaking of Lindsay Lohan, she's been hospitalized again after breaking her left wrist in two places after a fall at a New York Fashion Week party on Friday. She flew home to LA and the fabulous PerezHilton.com reports that Lindsay paid another visit to the ER on Sunday. "She appeared to be in alot of pain and a hospital source reveals she was prescribed painkillers."
Could Lindsay still have been upset after a yelling match with her mom Dina at a NY restaurant where they were celebrating Dina's 60th birthday party? Distraction is one of the leading causes of accidents. Lindsay told her mom to "go to hell" according to the NY POST, and stormed out leaving her mother "crying and shaking". Seems Dina got distracted too, failing to leave a tip on the $2,000 bill. Both distracted ladies did get together the next evening after Dina drove in from her Long Island home to visit Lindsay in the ER. Perhaps a little less partying and more quality family time in therapy would help?!!
Can You Guess Who? From "Page Six" of the NY POST..."WHICH famous tycoon's ex-wife keeps getting "exhausted"? Every few months, she checks into the Passages of Malibu rehab center for a "rest"... Seems poet Edna St. Vincent Millay was on to something over 70 years ago when she wrote: "My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night..." Fame & fortune can be good for the wallet and ego but bad for one's health.
What's Johnny Depp's pet fetish since his high school days?
For the answer, listen to Thursday's Starr Secrets podcast!!
Now go out there and have a great day making everyone's head SPIN!!
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