THE STARR SISTERS: OLD AND NEW HOLLYWOOD
We'd like to invite our readers to enjoy our new column in THE BEVERLY HILLS SHEET, online at www. Beverly Hills Sheet.com. Check out the April/May issue on page 14 and join the fun!!!
Showing posts with label paris hilton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label paris hilton. Show all posts
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
OLD & NEW HOLLYWOOD GO CRAZY!!
CELEBS FLASHING THE PINK. Listen up, Paris, Britney and Lindsay…You party girls DID NOT invent snatch flashing or the prodigious use of mind altering substances. One needs the equilibrium of a Whirling Dervish to keep up with all the Old Hollywood gals who exhibited their privates to a panting world. Hedy Lamarr, a delectable Austrian pastry, made her screen debut flashing full frontal nudity in the silent movie, Ecstasy. The actress became a Hollywood screen legend in Cecil B. DeMille’s epic, Samson & Delilah. Hedy invented the technology for the cellphone, but let the patent lapse. Others made millions. Paris, ever hear of Tallulah Bankhead, an aristocratic Southern Belle whose daddy was the U.S. Speaker of the House, third in line for the Presidency? This sexy actress was by her own admission “as pure as the driven slush”. Born over a 100 years ago, Tallulah smoked 100 cigarettes a day, drank cases of gin and bourbon daily, and carried a suitcase full of drugs, declaring: “Cocaine isn’t habit forming. I should know, I’ve been using it for years.” Tallulah went to parties nude, wearing only a single strand of pearls as she sat on a baby grand warbling. She was an avid bisexual who slept with hundreds of men AND women, including Hattie McDaniel (the first black actress to win an Oscar portraying “Mammy” in Gone With The Wind), Greta Garbo and Russian born silent film star Nazimova, the lesbian godmother of former First Lady Nancy Reagan. Tallulah once observed: “My daddy warned me about men and liquor, but he never mentioned women and cocaine.” Unlike Paris, Britney and Lindsay, Tallulah knew from irony and wit. But like them, Tallulah was a shameless flasher of the pink to EVERYONE. While making the Oscar winning Alfred Hitchcock movie, Lifeboat, she never wore panties and loved to shock the cast and crew by climbing up a ladder to the boat, skirt purposely hiked up to publicly expose her privates. When 20th Century Fox head Darryl Zanuck demanded that Hitchcock do something, the director contemptuously replied: “It’s not my department.” The studio chief demanded: “Well, whose department is it?” Hitchcock pondered for a moment, then answered: “Wardrobe or…perhaps hairdressing.”
MR. PRESIDENT, YOU AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A HORNDOG. Producer/actor Ashton Kutcher recalls the time he and his wife Demi Moore met the 42nd President of the United States: “Bill Clinton was the only President I ever met, but it was like I wasn’t there. HE WAS HITTING ON MY WIFE.” Many wish the Prez would have been so single minded in his pursuit of Osama Bin Laden, and nailed HIM in the Sudan in the mid 90’s.
DEAD STARS SELL THE GOODS. The style and panache of Old Hollywood is the gift that keeps giving. Audrey Hepburn, dead for 13 years is in an ad campaign for the Gap, elegantly dancing in a scene from Funny Face, a movie she made 50 years ago. The spot hawks slender, black Gap jeans for a New Millenium of consumers. The ever magical Hepburn joins her departed co-stars Fred Astaire (Dirt Devil), John Wayne (Coors) and Humphrey Bogart (Diet Coke & Thomasville Furniture) on the posthumous marketing campaign trail.
ALL SHRINKS TO GREY’S ANATOMY, STAT! Why is the brilliant producer/writer
Shondra Rhimes allowing the boorish Isaiah Washington to sabotage her groundbreaking network mega-hit? FIRE HIM! Why hasn’t this violent thespian had a criminal conviction for his long list of violent transgressions on numerous productions? From the allegations against Mr. Washington, it would appear he’s an equal opportunity rageaholic. Last fall, the pretend doctor assaulted his co-star Patrick Dempsey on the set, choking him after Dr. McDreamy defended castmate T. R. Knight against Washington’s homophobic slur. After Grey’s Anatomy won a Golden Globe for Best TV Series Drama, Washington grabbed the mike from producer Rhimes in front of the entire cast to announce: “No, I did not call T.R. a $#@. Never happened…” Rhimes giggled nervously instead of verbally clocking him.To save his job, Washington entered a 30-day rehab, but was released after a week of counseling, miraculously exorcising his demons in record time. The poster boy for anger management’s hit parade: During filming of the TV show High Incident, Washington got into a fight with a crew member that was vicious enough for the police to be called in. They handcuffed Washington and took him off in a squad car. “He grabbed my throat, choking me. Then he picked me up and threw me over the couch,” the alleged victim told The National Enquirer. While filming Soul Food for Showtime, Washington attacked his actress co-star with a “forceful, aggressive” kiss that caused her to scream. When Executive Producer Tracey Edmonds (“Babyface’s ex-wife) and the director stepped in to calm the situation, Washington went off on them, too. The hair trigger tempered actor also came to blows with a straight, black actor on the set of a play a few years back. Many show biz folks say Washington’s not anti-gay, he’s been angry toward EVERYBODY over the years. Isaiah Washington still has a bullet hole in his right leg, which he admits sustaining because, “I was young and dumb…And one day I popped off my mouth to the wrong person and got shot.” If Producer Rhimes doesn’t fire this guy, may we suggest she write Washington’s character as a newly uncloseted gay doc who plays steamy sex scenes with hot studmuffins for the show’s duration.
QUOTES OF THE DAY.
“Sometimes I wish Pam would turn lesbian.”
Pamela Anderson’s mother reflecting on her daughter’s
liaisons with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels and Kid Rock.
“One inch less and he’d be the Queen of Hollywood.”
Carole Lombard’s yardstick appraisal of her
hubby Clark Gable
MR. PRESIDENT, YOU AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A HORNDOG. Producer/actor Ashton Kutcher recalls the time he and his wife Demi Moore met the 42nd President of the United States: “Bill Clinton was the only President I ever met, but it was like I wasn’t there. HE WAS HITTING ON MY WIFE.” Many wish the Prez would have been so single minded in his pursuit of Osama Bin Laden, and nailed HIM in the Sudan in the mid 90’s.
DEAD STARS SELL THE GOODS. The style and panache of Old Hollywood is the gift that keeps giving. Audrey Hepburn, dead for 13 years is in an ad campaign for the Gap, elegantly dancing in a scene from Funny Face, a movie she made 50 years ago. The spot hawks slender, black Gap jeans for a New Millenium of consumers. The ever magical Hepburn joins her departed co-stars Fred Astaire (Dirt Devil), John Wayne (Coors) and Humphrey Bogart (Diet Coke & Thomasville Furniture) on the posthumous marketing campaign trail.
ALL SHRINKS TO GREY’S ANATOMY, STAT! Why is the brilliant producer/writer
Shondra Rhimes allowing the boorish Isaiah Washington to sabotage her groundbreaking network mega-hit? FIRE HIM! Why hasn’t this violent thespian had a criminal conviction for his long list of violent transgressions on numerous productions? From the allegations against Mr. Washington, it would appear he’s an equal opportunity rageaholic. Last fall, the pretend doctor assaulted his co-star Patrick Dempsey on the set, choking him after Dr. McDreamy defended castmate T. R. Knight against Washington’s homophobic slur. After Grey’s Anatomy won a Golden Globe for Best TV Series Drama, Washington grabbed the mike from producer Rhimes in front of the entire cast to announce: “No, I did not call T.R. a $#@. Never happened…” Rhimes giggled nervously instead of verbally clocking him.To save his job, Washington entered a 30-day rehab, but was released after a week of counseling, miraculously exorcising his demons in record time. The poster boy for anger management’s hit parade: During filming of the TV show High Incident, Washington got into a fight with a crew member that was vicious enough for the police to be called in. They handcuffed Washington and took him off in a squad car. “He grabbed my throat, choking me. Then he picked me up and threw me over the couch,” the alleged victim told The National Enquirer. While filming Soul Food for Showtime, Washington attacked his actress co-star with a “forceful, aggressive” kiss that caused her to scream. When Executive Producer Tracey Edmonds (“Babyface’s ex-wife) and the director stepped in to calm the situation, Washington went off on them, too. The hair trigger tempered actor also came to blows with a straight, black actor on the set of a play a few years back. Many show biz folks say Washington’s not anti-gay, he’s been angry toward EVERYBODY over the years. Isaiah Washington still has a bullet hole in his right leg, which he admits sustaining because, “I was young and dumb…And one day I popped off my mouth to the wrong person and got shot.” If Producer Rhimes doesn’t fire this guy, may we suggest she write Washington’s character as a newly uncloseted gay doc who plays steamy sex scenes with hot studmuffins for the show’s duration.
QUOTES OF THE DAY.
“Sometimes I wish Pam would turn lesbian.”
Pamela Anderson’s mother reflecting on her daughter’s
liaisons with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels and Kid Rock.
“One inch less and he’d be the Queen of Hollywood.”
Carole Lombard’s yardstick appraisal of her
hubby Clark Gable
(c) 2007, Sistarrs International
Monday, December 04, 2006
STARS SEARCH FOR MAGIC BEYOND FAME & FORTUNE
Everyone can be a spiritual Rocky, everyone can be a winner, the famous and the ordinary, by connecting the dots on the roadmap leading to your own vision of heaven.
Stars are searching for something beyond the money, the glamour and the fame. They want it ALL, and are turning to ancient teachings and practices to provide the blueprint to their happiness and peace of mind.
The Kabbalah
This 2,000 year old Jewish book of mysticism, shrouded in mystery for centuries and taught to a precious few rabbis, is alleged to contain the secret code to deciphering life. It is no wonder that in an age of computers, this religious/scientific doctrine is gaining popularity.
Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher and Naomi Judd are drawn to the "mind-body aspect", while Madonna cites her interest in the Kabbalistic belief that, "Every action of every minute is connected to future events. Therefore, we are responsible for our own destiny. We are the producers, directors and writers of our own movie, our life, which has a beginning, middle and end." Her adopted Malawi tot, David Banda, will be in the pre-K program at the Kabbalah Center, founded by the indestructible, ever reincarnating diva.
Dolly Parton, Barbra Streisand, Roseanne are among the growing number of celebrities immersed in studying Kabbalah. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have dabbled and been photographed wearing the Kabbalah fashionista accessory, the red string bracelet (believed to ward off evil spirits).
Streisand waxes rhapsodic about the Cabalistic concept of of soul connection, the idea that only when you've learned certain lessons do you meet your soulmate. "And I've met mine," she coos about hubby James Brolin. "It's important to be positive about everything negative in your life. A positive spin propels us ahead to success."
Like Buddhism, Kabbalah teaches that reincarnation is necessary for soul perfection. Many lifetimes, many lessons learned. It is rumored that the Catholic Church taught reincarnation until the head of state, Emperor Constantine, became the head of the church. The original manuscripts of these teachings are alleged to be in a vault in the Vatican archives.
Many stars believe in reincarnation for a good reason. They've experience it in THIS lifetime.
Michelle Pfeiffer, Rod Stewart, Elvis Presley, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore in their previous lives were: a supermarket checker, a gravedigger, a truckdriver, a bartender and a teenage runaway.
BUDDHISM
Buddhism is about getting enlightenment by getting out of the self. Many see it as a logical antidote to the ME obsession which brings unhappiness to many over-achievers. Richard Gere is buddies with the Dalai Lama and spends months on end visiting him in Tibet, staying in a tent, not the Llasa Hilton. Other Buddhists like Tina Turner, Goldie Hawn and Patrick Duffy have built altars in their mansions in their practice of "loving kindness". A Hollywood Zen master on the payroll of the stars says: "In Buddhism, we study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by ALL things. All learning is unlearning. We must empty our mind of cherished notions and assumptions."
STEVEN SPIELBERG TEAMS UP WITH THE ANCIENTS
Steven Spielberg and Albert Einstein are both time travelers straddling a light beam. Both are mystics who plugged into the past to see the future. (That's how it's done folks. So be nice to the elderly!)
The five-tone vibration heard in Close Encounters was first heard by the ancient Greek mathematician Pythagoras. He discovered this five-tone scale and called it "The Music of the Spheres". As the 2,000 year old tale goes, no one but Pythagoras could hear this universal tone. But one day we would ALL hear it when we lived in harmony with ourselves and with each other.
So by having everyone hear this five-vibration tone emanating from the spaceship,
Spielberg shows us that the future comes to teach us what the ancients ALREADY knew.
In the movie ET, the ancient art of hands on healing is shown in a modern world. The positive energy from ET's lit finger touches and heals the little boy's cut finger. The little boy's profession of love tranforms the dying ET back to life and turns on his heart light. Spielberg, ever the avatar, shows us the timelessness of love as the alchemist for ALL miracles.
Oprah Winfrey says she's experienced amost 200 miracles since deciding to live in love. "I now approach EVERY single incident and person in my life as an opportunity to love and weave a web of goodness." This Christmas, Oprah and best friend Gayle King will be in South Africa setting up a school for orphaned, poor girls to train them to be tomorrow's leaders.
Secrets to a fabulous life...
Touched by an Angel was a huge hit because people ALWAYS feel good about love: heavenly and earthly. In a fast paced, perplexing world, a positive constant is reassuring. Everything and everybody and everyplace in every era are connected on the golden web of love that is manifested through signposts, prayer, intuition and the miracle of overcoming all adversity through faith in good.
As Penny Marshall says about her friend, Rosie O'Donnell: "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."
Have a fabulous and exciting Holiday Season!! Enjoy the ride...
(c) 2006, Sistarrs International
Stars are searching for something beyond the money, the glamour and the fame. They want it ALL, and are turning to ancient teachings and practices to provide the blueprint to their happiness and peace of mind.
The Kabbalah
This 2,000 year old Jewish book of mysticism, shrouded in mystery for centuries and taught to a precious few rabbis, is alleged to contain the secret code to deciphering life. It is no wonder that in an age of computers, this religious/scientific doctrine is gaining popularity.
Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher and Naomi Judd are drawn to the "mind-body aspect", while Madonna cites her interest in the Kabbalistic belief that, "Every action of every minute is connected to future events. Therefore, we are responsible for our own destiny. We are the producers, directors and writers of our own movie, our life, which has a beginning, middle and end." Her adopted Malawi tot, David Banda, will be in the pre-K program at the Kabbalah Center, founded by the indestructible, ever reincarnating diva.
Dolly Parton, Barbra Streisand, Roseanne are among the growing number of celebrities immersed in studying Kabbalah. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have dabbled and been photographed wearing the Kabbalah fashionista accessory, the red string bracelet (believed to ward off evil spirits).
Streisand waxes rhapsodic about the Cabalistic concept of of soul connection, the idea that only when you've learned certain lessons do you meet your soulmate. "And I've met mine," she coos about hubby James Brolin. "It's important to be positive about everything negative in your life. A positive spin propels us ahead to success."
Like Buddhism, Kabbalah teaches that reincarnation is necessary for soul perfection. Many lifetimes, many lessons learned. It is rumored that the Catholic Church taught reincarnation until the head of state, Emperor Constantine, became the head of the church. The original manuscripts of these teachings are alleged to be in a vault in the Vatican archives.
Many stars believe in reincarnation for a good reason. They've experience it in THIS lifetime.
Michelle Pfeiffer, Rod Stewart, Elvis Presley, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore in their previous lives were: a supermarket checker, a gravedigger, a truckdriver, a bartender and a teenage runaway.
BUDDHISM
Buddhism is about getting enlightenment by getting out of the self. Many see it as a logical antidote to the ME obsession which brings unhappiness to many over-achievers. Richard Gere is buddies with the Dalai Lama and spends months on end visiting him in Tibet, staying in a tent, not the Llasa Hilton. Other Buddhists like Tina Turner, Goldie Hawn and Patrick Duffy have built altars in their mansions in their practice of "loving kindness". A Hollywood Zen master on the payroll of the stars says: "In Buddhism, we study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by ALL things. All learning is unlearning. We must empty our mind of cherished notions and assumptions."
STEVEN SPIELBERG TEAMS UP WITH THE ANCIENTS
Steven Spielberg and Albert Einstein are both time travelers straddling a light beam. Both are mystics who plugged into the past to see the future. (That's how it's done folks. So be nice to the elderly!)
The five-tone vibration heard in Close Encounters was first heard by the ancient Greek mathematician Pythagoras. He discovered this five-tone scale and called it "The Music of the Spheres". As the 2,000 year old tale goes, no one but Pythagoras could hear this universal tone. But one day we would ALL hear it when we lived in harmony with ourselves and with each other.
So by having everyone hear this five-vibration tone emanating from the spaceship,
Spielberg shows us that the future comes to teach us what the ancients ALREADY knew.
In the movie ET, the ancient art of hands on healing is shown in a modern world. The positive energy from ET's lit finger touches and heals the little boy's cut finger. The little boy's profession of love tranforms the dying ET back to life and turns on his heart light. Spielberg, ever the avatar, shows us the timelessness of love as the alchemist for ALL miracles.
Oprah Winfrey says she's experienced amost 200 miracles since deciding to live in love. "I now approach EVERY single incident and person in my life as an opportunity to love and weave a web of goodness." This Christmas, Oprah and best friend Gayle King will be in South Africa setting up a school for orphaned, poor girls to train them to be tomorrow's leaders.
Secrets to a fabulous life...
Touched by an Angel was a huge hit because people ALWAYS feel good about love: heavenly and earthly. In a fast paced, perplexing world, a positive constant is reassuring. Everything and everybody and everyplace in every era are connected on the golden web of love that is manifested through signposts, prayer, intuition and the miracle of overcoming all adversity through faith in good.
As Penny Marshall says about her friend, Rosie O'Donnell: "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."
Have a fabulous and exciting Holiday Season!! Enjoy the ride...
(c) 2006, Sistarrs International
P.S. May we squeal our heartfelt condolences to George Clooney on the loss of his significant other of 18 years...his potbellied pet pig Max. Gorgeous George admits to this being his longest relationship ever. But let's face it, Hog Heaven is a far better place than here for the arthritic, partially blind porcine partner. Max saved George during the 1994 earthquake when he oinked the star awake in their bed minutes before catastrophe struck. George's epitaph for Max should be what he once told reporters: "I love eating at Jewish restaurants. I can't stand anyone who'd eat a pig." RIP you menschy pig!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
PAM AND KID IN RACE TO DIVORCE COURT
A sure fire way for celebs to make a final decision with their off again/on again love affairs is to get hitched. For four years Pam Anderson and the Kid Rocked and rolled through the vineyards of passion and kaput. Then three months ago they apparently got heat stroke in the south of France and tied the knot...NOT!
Monday morning they still couldn't keep their hands off of each other...in divorce court! According to TMZ.com, Kid's process server arrived with the divorce papers before the courthouse opened. HIS divorce documents were stamped at 8:35 a.m., five minutes after the clerk's office opened. Pam's process server lost the race, arriving 53 minutes later to file HER papers.
What happened to the Wholesome Twosome after no less than four wedding ceremonies: St. Tropez, Beverly Hills, Nashville and Detroit? Jet lag? Well, the groupie loving, booze guzzling, stripper addicted Kid ain't talkin' yet, but Pam's "close friends" are dropping some tidbits about as prolifically as a gaggle of New York pigeons...stool pigeons on crack.
"His male insecurity and major anger issues" were the deal breaker according to one friend.
Another Pam "insider" tattled to Page Six that a private screening of the hit mockumentary,
Borat, at Universal Studio's chief Ron Meyer's Beverly Hills home two weeks ago was the scene of a marital meltdown.
Seems Kid failed to get the running joke: the faux Kazakhstan journalist Borat (actor Sasha Baron Cohen) falls in love with the Baywatch babe after seeing Pam in a rerun, and drives cross-country to propose marriage to her. The friend told Page Six about the connubial explosion that took place at the screening.
"Bob (Kid Rock) started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing."
Listen, Kid-do...what about your mass shtups with groupies on the road and your self-acknowledged addiction to strippers and porn stars? We'd say you qualify at the ballot box for male slut/whore...Have you never seen your beloved's website photos or the "Comedy Central Roast of Pam Anderson"? Ah, where does "love" go. The very things we love about a person in the good old days become evangelical judgements around divorce time.
The friend (or PR spin doctor?) continues: "Bob is a very unhappy man and angry man. Pam is very disenchanted and sad. You know there are reasons she never married him before...she knows now they never really went away."
Pam, who suffered a miscarriage last month (is it safe to have a kid with Kid when she's got Hepatitis C?) left her Malibu home with her kids for a Santa Monica Hotel while Kid packs up his shit and moves out.
Perhaps stars should have their fame and fortune put into escrow before going for a marriage license. If they had the same real life yardstick as the rest of us, they might give a little more thought to the toll of a divorce on the psyche, the kids and the bank account. A few months alone on Exile Island might help.
Quote of the Day
"I wish Pam would become a lesbian. Her taste in men is up her a**."
Pam's mom after her liaisons with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels & Kid Rock.
For more salacious details, listen to Starr Secrets podcast: Pam Anderson & Gandhi: Sexy Vegetarians.
Unholy Trinity: Paris, Britney & Lindsay
We need a score card and the equilibrium of a Whirling Dervish to keep up with these three
gals who burn the candle at both ends and then some. The newly separated Britney Spears
has teamed up with her idol Paris Hilton for some tutelage in debauchery and work ethic middle fingering.
They've been clubbing until 6 in the morning causing workaholic Britney to miss recording sessions. The Baby Madonna's also taking skank fashion tips from her new best friend. Mimicking Paris, Britney's stopped wearing underwear and now flashes her crotch to the paparazzi. Her raison d'etre: "I gave birth for over 2 years and now I want to party."
Paris is now Britney's roommate at her Malibu mansion so that the two newfound "sisters" can operate more efficiently. K-Fed is lookin' mighty good in the rear view mirror...go know!
Paris kissed and made up recently with her former nemesis, Lindsay ("Firecrotch") Lohan,
and the two are out and about, arm in arm, flashing their pubes. Jeez, girls, don't be so cruel to the panty peddlers. They gotta hustle, too!
Listen, ladies, you didn't invent party girl perversions or snatch flashing. Ever hear of Tallulah Bankhead, a rich Southern Belle whose daddy was U.S. Speaker of the House, third in line for U.S. President? This sexy actress by her own admission was "as pure as the driven slush". Born a 100 years ago, Tallulah smoked over 100 cigarettes a day, drank cases of gin and bourbon daily, carried a suitcase full of drugs to help her sleep and declared: "Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know, I've been using it for years."
The debutante/actress was nude most of the time. Her best friend wryly observed: "I don't know why Tallulah runs around naked. She has such pretty frocks." She was a bisexual who slept with hundreds of men and women, including Hattie McDaniel ("Mammy" in "Gone with the Wind"), Greta Garbo and silent film star Nazimova, the lesbian godmother of First Lady Nancy Reagan.
Like Paris, Lindsay and Britney, Tallulah was an unashamed exhibitionist who loved flashing her pubes to EVERYONE. While making the Oscar winning 1944 Alfred Hitchcock movie, "Lifeboat", she never wore underwear and loved shocking the cast and crew as she climbed up a ladder, skirt hiked up, and exposed ALL.
When the director was asked to do something, Hitchcock replied: "It's not my department." The complainer demanded: "Well, whose department is it?" Hitchcock thought for a moment and then said: "Wardrobe, or perhaps hairdressing."
What a dame! No wonder Demi Moore named her daughter for Tallulah.
For more salacious details, listen to next week's Starr Secrets podcast: "Anna Nicole Smith & Tallulah Bankhead: Dixie Girls Gone Wild!"
Update on "Kramer in the Krapper"
"Smart mouths opening to say apologies don't come cheap...Watch for newfound Michael Richards donations to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson pet causes," says Cindy Adams in her New York Post column. Only in Cindy Adams, kids...this broad tells it straight.
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Monday morning they still couldn't keep their hands off of each other...in divorce court! According to TMZ.com, Kid's process server arrived with the divorce papers before the courthouse opened. HIS divorce documents were stamped at 8:35 a.m., five minutes after the clerk's office opened. Pam's process server lost the race, arriving 53 minutes later to file HER papers.
What happened to the Wholesome Twosome after no less than four wedding ceremonies: St. Tropez, Beverly Hills, Nashville and Detroit? Jet lag? Well, the groupie loving, booze guzzling, stripper addicted Kid ain't talkin' yet, but Pam's "close friends" are dropping some tidbits about as prolifically as a gaggle of New York pigeons...stool pigeons on crack.
"His male insecurity and major anger issues" were the deal breaker according to one friend.
Another Pam "insider" tattled to Page Six that a private screening of the hit mockumentary,
Borat, at Universal Studio's chief Ron Meyer's Beverly Hills home two weeks ago was the scene of a marital meltdown.
Seems Kid failed to get the running joke: the faux Kazakhstan journalist Borat (actor Sasha Baron Cohen) falls in love with the Baywatch babe after seeing Pam in a rerun, and drives cross-country to propose marriage to her. The friend told Page Six about the connubial explosion that took place at the screening.
"Bob (Kid Rock) started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing."
Listen, Kid-do...what about your mass shtups with groupies on the road and your self-acknowledged addiction to strippers and porn stars? We'd say you qualify at the ballot box for male slut/whore...Have you never seen your beloved's website photos or the "Comedy Central Roast of Pam Anderson"? Ah, where does "love" go. The very things we love about a person in the good old days become evangelical judgements around divorce time.
The friend (or PR spin doctor?) continues: "Bob is a very unhappy man and angry man. Pam is very disenchanted and sad. You know there are reasons she never married him before...she knows now they never really went away."
Pam, who suffered a miscarriage last month (is it safe to have a kid with Kid when she's got Hepatitis C?) left her Malibu home with her kids for a Santa Monica Hotel while Kid packs up his shit and moves out.
Perhaps stars should have their fame and fortune put into escrow before going for a marriage license. If they had the same real life yardstick as the rest of us, they might give a little more thought to the toll of a divorce on the psyche, the kids and the bank account. A few months alone on Exile Island might help.
Quote of the Day
"I wish Pam would become a lesbian. Her taste in men is up her a**."
Pam's mom after her liaisons with Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels & Kid Rock.
For more salacious details, listen to Starr Secrets podcast: Pam Anderson & Gandhi: Sexy Vegetarians.
Unholy Trinity: Paris, Britney & Lindsay
We need a score card and the equilibrium of a Whirling Dervish to keep up with these three
gals who burn the candle at both ends and then some. The newly separated Britney Spears
has teamed up with her idol Paris Hilton for some tutelage in debauchery and work ethic middle fingering.
They've been clubbing until 6 in the morning causing workaholic Britney to miss recording sessions. The Baby Madonna's also taking skank fashion tips from her new best friend. Mimicking Paris, Britney's stopped wearing underwear and now flashes her crotch to the paparazzi. Her raison d'etre: "I gave birth for over 2 years and now I want to party."
Paris is now Britney's roommate at her Malibu mansion so that the two newfound "sisters" can operate more efficiently. K-Fed is lookin' mighty good in the rear view mirror...go know!
Paris kissed and made up recently with her former nemesis, Lindsay ("Firecrotch") Lohan,
and the two are out and about, arm in arm, flashing their pubes. Jeez, girls, don't be so cruel to the panty peddlers. They gotta hustle, too!
Listen, ladies, you didn't invent party girl perversions or snatch flashing. Ever hear of Tallulah Bankhead, a rich Southern Belle whose daddy was U.S. Speaker of the House, third in line for U.S. President? This sexy actress by her own admission was "as pure as the driven slush". Born a 100 years ago, Tallulah smoked over 100 cigarettes a day, drank cases of gin and bourbon daily, carried a suitcase full of drugs to help her sleep and declared: "Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know, I've been using it for years."
The debutante/actress was nude most of the time. Her best friend wryly observed: "I don't know why Tallulah runs around naked. She has such pretty frocks." She was a bisexual who slept with hundreds of men and women, including Hattie McDaniel ("Mammy" in "Gone with the Wind"), Greta Garbo and silent film star Nazimova, the lesbian godmother of First Lady Nancy Reagan.
Like Paris, Lindsay and Britney, Tallulah was an unashamed exhibitionist who loved flashing her pubes to EVERYONE. While making the Oscar winning 1944 Alfred Hitchcock movie, "Lifeboat", she never wore underwear and loved shocking the cast and crew as she climbed up a ladder, skirt hiked up, and exposed ALL.
When the director was asked to do something, Hitchcock replied: "It's not my department." The complainer demanded: "Well, whose department is it?" Hitchcock thought for a moment and then said: "Wardrobe, or perhaps hairdressing."
What a dame! No wonder Demi Moore named her daughter for Tallulah.
For more salacious details, listen to next week's Starr Secrets podcast: "Anna Nicole Smith & Tallulah Bankhead: Dixie Girls Gone Wild!"
Update on "Kramer in the Krapper"
"Smart mouths opening to say apologies don't come cheap...Watch for newfound Michael Richards donations to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson pet causes," says Cindy Adams in her New York Post column. Only in Cindy Adams, kids...this broad tells it straight.
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Friday, October 27, 2006
NAOMI CAMPBELL KO's DRUG COUNSELOR
Superthug supermodel Naomi Campbell has been arrested yet again for another alleged assault. The British network Sky News and The Sun of Lonndon reported the ugly tempered, venomous vixen attacked her drug counselor in London while taking the drug tests required to renew her visa to work in the U.S.
The woman claims she was attacked and scratched all over the face in a Westminster house by the adrenaline laced mannequin. Police arrested Campbell at 1:20 pm for an alleged assault and took her to the central London police station.
The pugilistic diva has a history of being accused of assault by at least six other people who have worked for her as assistants or maids. A few required stitches and/or hospitalization.
It's high time this sick superbitch got booked for an even grudge match. We suggest a pay-per-view slugfest with her ex-boyfriend Mike Tyson, gloves off, of course. If this karmic booomerang doesn't come off, perhaps a 1 to 5 year stretch in a women's prison might be in order. We'll see whose bitch this bitch will be...Until then would someone please put this domestic batterer in a cage strewn with Ritalin?!!
TOMKAT WEDDING RUSE?
While the paparazzi assemble outside George Clooney's Italian villa on Lake Como for the November 18 nuptials of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, The New York Post's Cindy Adams claims to have the inside scoop: the duo is actually tying the knot at Rome's Hassler Hotel atop the Spanish Steps.
Take your choice: camp out at beautiful Lake Como or at the historic, scenic hilltop location in Rome. We'd rather stay in Malibu and join the celebrity protesters Halle Berry, Darryl Hannah, Cindy Crawford, Ted Danson, Jane Seymour and Pierce Brosnan in their demonstration against a proposed 13-story floating natural gas terminal scheduled to be built off our shoreline. Besides the bevy of celebrities, fans, paparazzi and television networks from around the globe that mobbed Surfrider Beach in Malibu last Sunday, other famous Malibu residents Barbra Streisand, Cher, Jamie Lee Curtis, Danny DeVito, Tom Hanks, Olivia Newton-John and Martin Sheen have signed a letter opposing the terminal. The document says "it poses a significant and potentially irreversible negative impact to our coast, our environment and to the health and safety of our families..." Talk about a cause celebre!
SURPRISE: PARIS HILTON FOR SALE TO HIGHEST BIDDER
Wanna bag Paris Hilton for New Year's Eve? Well, for a mere $100,000, plus an expense account and a private jet, the celebutante will host a soiree in your honor in either Los Angeles, New York or Miami.
We're told Paris will not stay for more than 10 minutes, proving that amazingly there are certain occasions when the heirhead can count to 10!!
IS SIR PAUL NOT SIR GALAHAD AFTER ALL?
In the bitter divorce between Paul McCartney and his second wife Heather Mills, many were stunned last week by allegations that the 64 year old mild mannered rock god abused his amputee wife by not letting her use a bedpan so she wouldn't have to crawl in the middle of the night to the bathroom. She asserts he didn't want t feel like he lived in an old age home. Nobody believed such behavior possible from Sir Paul. Some upper crust British dame even sniffed: "If it's true, I must say I'd make this one exception to advocate domestic abuse." (Not funny, lady!!)
Well, get ready for your smug, righteous world to be rocked! There are allegations that the former Beatle beat up his first wife Linda. The UK tabloid Daily Mail claims that "Sir Paul McCartney is attempting to block 20 hours of alleged taped revelations from his first wife, said to contain intimate disclosures of the marriage that cast an alternative light on his 29 year marriage to the former Linda Eastman, from being used in his current divorce battle."
Say it ain't so, Paul!! Though his current wife is no saint and has been besmirched in various publications as a sociopathic liar who has prostitution in her earlier, colorful history, it doesn't mean anyone can rush to judgement based on the public face of a beloved celebrity. Mills alleges that McCartney was violent to her on four separate occasions. Batterers can be the most charming people in the world. After all they convince adult women to stick around because it will never happen again. Who knows the truth? But let IT will out.
GUESS WHO?
A helpful quick, easy and cheap idea for a Halloween costume is being proferred by the CityRag blog: "Celebrity Baby Smuggler". Guess the phony British accent on Oprah didn't convince everyone.
ELVIS DETHRONED
Kurt Cobain and not Elvis Presley is now the KING of the top-earning dead celebrity club. The grunge rocker earned $50 million in the last year while the original rock god earned a mere $42. Rounding out the Top Five dead celeb earners are "Peanuts" creator Charles Schulz at $35 million, Beatle John Lennon at $24 million and long deceased physicist Albert Einstein at $20 million, mostly from the lucrative "Baby Einstein" educational videos.
Wanna leave an estate for your family that keeps giving? Get famous before you croak. Now that's estate planning at it's best!!
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
The woman claims she was attacked and scratched all over the face in a Westminster house by the adrenaline laced mannequin. Police arrested Campbell at 1:20 pm for an alleged assault and took her to the central London police station.
The pugilistic diva has a history of being accused of assault by at least six other people who have worked for her as assistants or maids. A few required stitches and/or hospitalization.
It's high time this sick superbitch got booked for an even grudge match. We suggest a pay-per-view slugfest with her ex-boyfriend Mike Tyson, gloves off, of course. If this karmic booomerang doesn't come off, perhaps a 1 to 5 year stretch in a women's prison might be in order. We'll see whose bitch this bitch will be...Until then would someone please put this domestic batterer in a cage strewn with Ritalin?!!
TOMKAT WEDDING RUSE?
While the paparazzi assemble outside George Clooney's Italian villa on Lake Como for the November 18 nuptials of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, The New York Post's Cindy Adams claims to have the inside scoop: the duo is actually tying the knot at Rome's Hassler Hotel atop the Spanish Steps.
Take your choice: camp out at beautiful Lake Como or at the historic, scenic hilltop location in Rome. We'd rather stay in Malibu and join the celebrity protesters Halle Berry, Darryl Hannah, Cindy Crawford, Ted Danson, Jane Seymour and Pierce Brosnan in their demonstration against a proposed 13-story floating natural gas terminal scheduled to be built off our shoreline. Besides the bevy of celebrities, fans, paparazzi and television networks from around the globe that mobbed Surfrider Beach in Malibu last Sunday, other famous Malibu residents Barbra Streisand, Cher, Jamie Lee Curtis, Danny DeVito, Tom Hanks, Olivia Newton-John and Martin Sheen have signed a letter opposing the terminal. The document says "it poses a significant and potentially irreversible negative impact to our coast, our environment and to the health and safety of our families..." Talk about a cause celebre!
SURPRISE: PARIS HILTON FOR SALE TO HIGHEST BIDDER
Wanna bag Paris Hilton for New Year's Eve? Well, for a mere $100,000, plus an expense account and a private jet, the celebutante will host a soiree in your honor in either Los Angeles, New York or Miami.
We're told Paris will not stay for more than 10 minutes, proving that amazingly there are certain occasions when the heirhead can count to 10!!
IS SIR PAUL NOT SIR GALAHAD AFTER ALL?
In the bitter divorce between Paul McCartney and his second wife Heather Mills, many were stunned last week by allegations that the 64 year old mild mannered rock god abused his amputee wife by not letting her use a bedpan so she wouldn't have to crawl in the middle of the night to the bathroom. She asserts he didn't want t feel like he lived in an old age home. Nobody believed such behavior possible from Sir Paul. Some upper crust British dame even sniffed: "If it's true, I must say I'd make this one exception to advocate domestic abuse." (Not funny, lady!!)
Well, get ready for your smug, righteous world to be rocked! There are allegations that the former Beatle beat up his first wife Linda. The UK tabloid Daily Mail claims that "Sir Paul McCartney is attempting to block 20 hours of alleged taped revelations from his first wife, said to contain intimate disclosures of the marriage that cast an alternative light on his 29 year marriage to the former Linda Eastman, from being used in his current divorce battle."
Say it ain't so, Paul!! Though his current wife is no saint and has been besmirched in various publications as a sociopathic liar who has prostitution in her earlier, colorful history, it doesn't mean anyone can rush to judgement based on the public face of a beloved celebrity. Mills alleges that McCartney was violent to her on four separate occasions. Batterers can be the most charming people in the world. After all they convince adult women to stick around because it will never happen again. Who knows the truth? But let IT will out.
GUESS WHO?
A helpful quick, easy and cheap idea for a Halloween costume is being proferred by the CityRag blog: "Celebrity Baby Smuggler". Guess the phony British accent on Oprah didn't convince everyone.
ELVIS DETHRONED
Kurt Cobain and not Elvis Presley is now the KING of the top-earning dead celebrity club. The grunge rocker earned $50 million in the last year while the original rock god earned a mere $42. Rounding out the Top Five dead celeb earners are "Peanuts" creator Charles Schulz at $35 million, Beatle John Lennon at $24 million and long deceased physicist Albert Einstein at $20 million, mostly from the lucrative "Baby Einstein" educational videos.
Wanna leave an estate for your family that keeps giving? Get famous before you croak. Now that's estate planning at it's best!!
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Monday, October 23, 2006
MADONNA'S BABY DADDY CRIES FOUL
After an international ping pong match between new adoptive mom Madonna, the world press and outraged international adoption rights groups, Babydonna now has another volley to return. Seems Yohane Banda, the birth dad of 13-month old David, now claims he wasn't fully informed that he was relinquishing legal custody of his child permanently. "I am just realizing the meaning of 'adoption'," the illiterate Banda told the press. "If we were told she wants to take the baby as her own, we would not have consented, because I see no reason I should give up my son." However, the Malawi farmer added that he does not want his son returned to the orphanage.
Fear not concerned citizens of the world! It has just been announced that Madonna will explain all to us Oct. 25th through the benevolent god of talk shows, Oprah Winfrey. We'd like to ask the Material Girl, known in certain circles as Esther, a few questions of our own. (1) With your iconoclastic view of the Catholic Church and its foibles, how could you take a missionary position in regard to your $3 donation to Malawi schools & orphanages, stipulating that teaching Kabbalah to kids is a condition for the gift? (2) Is it true that you were set to adopt a California orphan until a dinner with Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt convinced you to adopt an African tot? (3) Have you consulted Mia Farrow who began adopting Third World and disabled tots in the 60's and ended up with 13 children? (4) Is channeling entertainer extraordinaire and ex-patriate (like yourself) Josephine Baker on your "must do" list? Baker fled racism in '20s America to find fame & glory in Paris dancing with only bananas around her waist. She went on to adopt 12 children of different ethnicities which she called her Rainbow Tribe to prove that different races could live in harmony. Viva adoptive show biz parents!!
ANNA NICOLE'S SON BURIED ON DAY 39
A cemetery in the Bahamas was the scene last Thursday afternoon for tragic Daniel Smith's burial. He was laid to rest in a mahogany casket wearing his favorite trucker cap and jeans. His mother ANNA NICOLE SMITH wore a couture mourner's outfit custom-made by the same designer who made her faux wedding gown. In the obscenely long period between Daniel's death from a drug overdose, his mother: (1) sold the last known photos of her son with his new baby sister for $600,000, (2) staged a fake wedding with her long time personal lawyer, claiming that he and not photographer Larry Birkhead is the baby's daddy. She sold those photos for close to a $1 million, (3) allegedly bribed the Bahamian government to fast track her citizenship application to avoid being legally forced to submit to paternity tests. Anna Nicole was heard screaming at Daniel's funeral: "I don't want a husband, I want my son!"
Here's a question we'd like to ask: Daniel took 7 times the prescribed dosage for both Zoloft and Methadone. He was depressed, that explains the antidepressants in his system. But where did he get the Methadone? Anna Nicole's been accused by the alleged father of her daughter, Larry Birkhead, of being a Methadone addict who was admitted to rehab in the 7th month of her pregnancy. Why is there no investigation as to how Daniel got the Methadone?
PARIS IS A SKANK AND A PRUDE...ISN'T THAT AN OXYMORON?
Former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, ex-boyfriend of Paris Hilton, tattles to the British tabloid, News of the World, that the airhead heiress is not the bomb, but a sexual dud in bed because she was wasted on drugs. He told Georgina Dickinson that, "She was a drunken prude who as far as I can see did not really like sex. She relied on drinks to give her confidence in the bedroom and was more often than not too wasted to even perform. I lost count of the nights I had to pick her off the floor and drag her to bed passed out." He went on to say that she was so hooked on drugs that she smuggled it on airplanes in teddy bears!
Who says chivalry is dead?! Nick's reality show with the IQ challenged Carter clan is a red neck grudge match that never ends. It should be called "The Thrilla in Vanilla"...As for Paris' libido, we told you months ago that she herself admitted that she wasn't that into sex and that her boyfriends were sorely disappointed with having to wake her up in the middle of sex for a call on her sidekick...Paris liberate yourself. Close the shop to all foreign invaders for awhile.
TOM CRUISING FOR A BRUISING
It seems the actor's couch jumping and psychiatry bashing caused a mass exodus of lots of his fans. Even his apology to Brooke Shields after he publicly criticized her for taking medication for postpartum depression couldn't add luster to his tarnished image. Once Tom Cruise ranked among the 10 most popular stars in opinion polls by Marketing Evaluations Inc. He now ranks a bleak No. 650.
What a fascinating lesson in the power of today's Hollywood publicist. Once he fired his long-time publicist, Pat Kingsley, and hired his fellow Scientologist sister, all hell broke loose. Mr. Nice Guy or fanatical cultist with a superiority complex: will the real Tom Cruise please stand up, 3 inch lifts and all!
QUESTION OF THE DAY
Which Hollywood fitness fanatic and leading man has his hairline back thanks to surgery and Rogaine? Unfortunately, Mr. Stud Muffin now requires more Viagara than Hugh Hefner to flex a certain muscle for the ladies due to side effects of the drug treatment.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Honey, one inch less and he'd be the Queen of Hollywood."
Actress Carole Lombard, observing that size DOES count, during her marriage to the King of Hollywood, Clark Gable.
HAVING A GAS AT A POLITICAL RALLY VERBOTEN!!
Police in Poland have extended their dragnet and gone to Interpol for help in the search for a political dissident who passed gas when asked what he thought of the President. Hubert Hoffman, 45, charged with "contempt for the office of the head of state", failed to show up for his trial on the charge, setting off the manhunt.
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Fear not concerned citizens of the world! It has just been announced that Madonna will explain all to us Oct. 25th through the benevolent god of talk shows, Oprah Winfrey. We'd like to ask the Material Girl, known in certain circles as Esther, a few questions of our own. (1) With your iconoclastic view of the Catholic Church and its foibles, how could you take a missionary position in regard to your $3 donation to Malawi schools & orphanages, stipulating that teaching Kabbalah to kids is a condition for the gift? (2) Is it true that you were set to adopt a California orphan until a dinner with Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt convinced you to adopt an African tot? (3) Have you consulted Mia Farrow who began adopting Third World and disabled tots in the 60's and ended up with 13 children? (4) Is channeling entertainer extraordinaire and ex-patriate (like yourself) Josephine Baker on your "must do" list? Baker fled racism in '20s America to find fame & glory in Paris dancing with only bananas around her waist. She went on to adopt 12 children of different ethnicities which she called her Rainbow Tribe to prove that different races could live in harmony. Viva adoptive show biz parents!!
ANNA NICOLE'S SON BURIED ON DAY 39
A cemetery in the Bahamas was the scene last Thursday afternoon for tragic Daniel Smith's burial. He was laid to rest in a mahogany casket wearing his favorite trucker cap and jeans. His mother ANNA NICOLE SMITH wore a couture mourner's outfit custom-made by the same designer who made her faux wedding gown. In the obscenely long period between Daniel's death from a drug overdose, his mother: (1) sold the last known photos of her son with his new baby sister for $600,000, (2) staged a fake wedding with her long time personal lawyer, claiming that he and not photographer Larry Birkhead is the baby's daddy. She sold those photos for close to a $1 million, (3) allegedly bribed the Bahamian government to fast track her citizenship application to avoid being legally forced to submit to paternity tests. Anna Nicole was heard screaming at Daniel's funeral: "I don't want a husband, I want my son!"
Here's a question we'd like to ask: Daniel took 7 times the prescribed dosage for both Zoloft and Methadone. He was depressed, that explains the antidepressants in his system. But where did he get the Methadone? Anna Nicole's been accused by the alleged father of her daughter, Larry Birkhead, of being a Methadone addict who was admitted to rehab in the 7th month of her pregnancy. Why is there no investigation as to how Daniel got the Methadone?
PARIS IS A SKANK AND A PRUDE...ISN'T THAT AN OXYMORON?
Former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, ex-boyfriend of Paris Hilton, tattles to the British tabloid, News of the World, that the airhead heiress is not the bomb, but a sexual dud in bed because she was wasted on drugs. He told Georgina Dickinson that, "She was a drunken prude who as far as I can see did not really like sex. She relied on drinks to give her confidence in the bedroom and was more often than not too wasted to even perform. I lost count of the nights I had to pick her off the floor and drag her to bed passed out." He went on to say that she was so hooked on drugs that she smuggled it on airplanes in teddy bears!
Who says chivalry is dead?! Nick's reality show with the IQ challenged Carter clan is a red neck grudge match that never ends. It should be called "The Thrilla in Vanilla"...As for Paris' libido, we told you months ago that she herself admitted that she wasn't that into sex and that her boyfriends were sorely disappointed with having to wake her up in the middle of sex for a call on her sidekick...Paris liberate yourself. Close the shop to all foreign invaders for awhile.
TOM CRUISING FOR A BRUISING
It seems the actor's couch jumping and psychiatry bashing caused a mass exodus of lots of his fans. Even his apology to Brooke Shields after he publicly criticized her for taking medication for postpartum depression couldn't add luster to his tarnished image. Once Tom Cruise ranked among the 10 most popular stars in opinion polls by Marketing Evaluations Inc. He now ranks a bleak No. 650.
What a fascinating lesson in the power of today's Hollywood publicist. Once he fired his long-time publicist, Pat Kingsley, and hired his fellow Scientologist sister, all hell broke loose. Mr. Nice Guy or fanatical cultist with a superiority complex: will the real Tom Cruise please stand up, 3 inch lifts and all!
QUESTION OF THE DAY
Which Hollywood fitness fanatic and leading man has his hairline back thanks to surgery and Rogaine? Unfortunately, Mr. Stud Muffin now requires more Viagara than Hugh Hefner to flex a certain muscle for the ladies due to side effects of the drug treatment.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Honey, one inch less and he'd be the Queen of Hollywood."
Actress Carole Lombard, observing that size DOES count, during her marriage to the King of Hollywood, Clark Gable.
HAVING A GAS AT A POLITICAL RALLY VERBOTEN!!
Police in Poland have extended their dragnet and gone to Interpol for help in the search for a political dissident who passed gas when asked what he thought of the President. Hubert Hoffman, 45, charged with "contempt for the office of the head of state", failed to show up for his trial on the charge, setting off the manhunt.
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
MADONNA AND CHILD
Well, the world might be discussing the propriety of Madonna's move to adopt a 1 year old Malawi tot who has a loving father and granny, but the Material Girl has ruled. The little tyke got whisked away by Madonna's minions yesterday to begin life in the lap of luxury at the diva's London townhouse. Madonna and her filmmaker husband, Guy Ritchie, were granted an interim adoption of baby David. This gives the showbiz parents 18 months temporary custody during which time they will be evaluated by the courts of Malawi.
This is a no-brainer. Madonna's $3 million gift to the orphanage and other programs certainly insures a favorable report. Let's just hope that the little tyke in the end gives his ubermensch mutter a glowing report card. Steven Spielberg once told his free-spirited, ageless mom, Leah Adler: "I won the lottery when I got you as a mom!" May little David say the same thing to his new mommy one day and we'll all happily SHUT UP....
BRANDON DAVIS' KARMIC KICK IN THE ASS
Genetic lottery winner, Brandon Davis, grandson of the gargantuan late oil billionaire, Marvin Davis, may still have a big mouth, but he appears to be running out of dough. The perennial Paris Hilton sidekick and boorish blowhard routinely makes fun of Lindsay Lohan's privates ("firecrotch") and finances ("She's only got $7 million). Well, it appears there is a God. The unemployed, IQ challenged, alleged heir wrote a check to "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis for $10,000 and it bounced, refused because of "insufficient funds" according to "Page Six". It appears he also owes big bucks to a record producer and a casino owner.
Better watch that your always wobbly legs don't get broken in a dark alley like the common folk, Mr. Faux Rich Boy. By the way, we hear that you owe more than one young lady an IOU for your performance in the sack. It would appear Mr. Big Shot has no currency in the REAL world.
ANNA NICOLE WATCH
Day 37 and still no burial for tragic Daniel Smith. He remains in a vault drawer at the morgue in the Bahamas.
EVEN MY EX-PROFESSOR IS BARING ALL!
Seems my ex-creative writing instructor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, former Playboy Playmate Alice Denham, has penned a down and dirty tell-all book, "Sleeping With Bad Boys". The formerly sexy prof tattles that the legendary actor James Dean "was a tender and considerate lover" who was totally hung up on her 36 double D's as soon as he got a load of 'em: "You're so huge for a small girl," he told her. "Jimmy was a t--man, and he loved to nuzzle. He was so skilled." Then in a purely Elvis move, the doomed star asked the woman who I fought with for an "A": "Are you my mother? You are, I think. You look like her." Hugh Hefner chose the future prof as a playmate and proceeded to bed her during a cheesy stag movie. While Hef had "staying power and was a good ride", it was nothing personal. Because the bookish former Bunny is a former academic, she throws ex-lovers Norman Mailer and Philip Roth into the mix, lest we think she's gone Hollywood.
I vividly remember Prof. Denham disrobing during class to the delight of my cop classmates. It seems she was always hot in her sweater and needed to strip down to her undergarment to continue her ascent in the world of pedagogy. She actually outdid the original superstar stripper, Gypsy Rose Lee. I really loved this broad, though we didn't always get along. Nobody EVER slept in her class!! (Randa)
TALIBAN GOES TO POT
The Taliban are hiding behind dense, impenetrable forests of 10 ft. marijuana plants. Canadian forces report that the Taliban terrorists are using the forests for cover. Fighting bush by bush, the Canadians are taking on the unexpected and potent enemy by covering their armored vehicles with the cannabis as camouflage. It's a draw: "Far out, man!"
Now, be the FIRST to go out there and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
This is a no-brainer. Madonna's $3 million gift to the orphanage and other programs certainly insures a favorable report. Let's just hope that the little tyke in the end gives his ubermensch mutter a glowing report card. Steven Spielberg once told his free-spirited, ageless mom, Leah Adler: "I won the lottery when I got you as a mom!" May little David say the same thing to his new mommy one day and we'll all happily SHUT UP....
BRANDON DAVIS' KARMIC KICK IN THE ASS
Genetic lottery winner, Brandon Davis, grandson of the gargantuan late oil billionaire, Marvin Davis, may still have a big mouth, but he appears to be running out of dough. The perennial Paris Hilton sidekick and boorish blowhard routinely makes fun of Lindsay Lohan's privates ("firecrotch") and finances ("She's only got $7 million). Well, it appears there is a God. The unemployed, IQ challenged, alleged heir wrote a check to "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis for $10,000 and it bounced, refused because of "insufficient funds" according to "Page Six". It appears he also owes big bucks to a record producer and a casino owner.
Better watch that your always wobbly legs don't get broken in a dark alley like the common folk, Mr. Faux Rich Boy. By the way, we hear that you owe more than one young lady an IOU for your performance in the sack. It would appear Mr. Big Shot has no currency in the REAL world.
ANNA NICOLE WATCH
Day 37 and still no burial for tragic Daniel Smith. He remains in a vault drawer at the morgue in the Bahamas.
EVEN MY EX-PROFESSOR IS BARING ALL!
Seems my ex-creative writing instructor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, former Playboy Playmate Alice Denham, has penned a down and dirty tell-all book, "Sleeping With Bad Boys". The formerly sexy prof tattles that the legendary actor James Dean "was a tender and considerate lover" who was totally hung up on her 36 double D's as soon as he got a load of 'em: "You're so huge for a small girl," he told her. "Jimmy was a t--man, and he loved to nuzzle. He was so skilled." Then in a purely Elvis move, the doomed star asked the woman who I fought with for an "A": "Are you my mother? You are, I think. You look like her." Hugh Hefner chose the future prof as a playmate and proceeded to bed her during a cheesy stag movie. While Hef had "staying power and was a good ride", it was nothing personal. Because the bookish former Bunny is a former academic, she throws ex-lovers Norman Mailer and Philip Roth into the mix, lest we think she's gone Hollywood.
I vividly remember Prof. Denham disrobing during class to the delight of my cop classmates. It seems she was always hot in her sweater and needed to strip down to her undergarment to continue her ascent in the world of pedagogy. She actually outdid the original superstar stripper, Gypsy Rose Lee. I really loved this broad, though we didn't always get along. Nobody EVER slept in her class!! (Randa)
TALIBAN GOES TO POT
The Taliban are hiding behind dense, impenetrable forests of 10 ft. marijuana plants. Canadian forces report that the Taliban terrorists are using the forests for cover. Fighting bush by bush, the Canadians are taking on the unexpected and potent enemy by covering their armored vehicles with the cannabis as camouflage. It's a draw: "Far out, man!"
Now, be the FIRST to go out there and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Friday, October 06, 2006
CHANGE OF PACE? PARIS TAKES FIST IN THE MOUTH!!
Skanky hotel heiress/amateur porn star Paris Hilton took a closed fist punch to the jaw from former Miss USA Shanna Moakler hours after the celebrity gossip website TMZ posted a video of Hilton making out with Moakler's estranged husband, former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker at a crowded nightclub.
In a further display of "High School Antics 101", as Paris recoiled in pain amid some foul language from the beauty queen's mouth, the heiress' ex-boyfriend, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos pounced on the Playboy Playmate/"Dancing with the Stars" loser Moakler, bent back her wrists and poured a drink over her.
Paris and Moakler raced to the local police station to file charges against each other. No arrests have been made pending further investigation.
Paris would you please give Angelina and Madonna a call and get your ass to a Third World orphanage. Supporting the extended families of the paparazzi does not count as philanthropy on the world stage!
MOM PUTS MUZZLE ON PARIS' SKANKY MOUTH
The New York Post reports that: "Paris tells the new issue of Blender that she refused to perform oral sex on boyfriends until she was 19 because her mother told her it would leave her with 'holes in your face and craters...I totally believed her.' Paris said one of her boyfriends finally set her straight: 'He's like, Paris, you're 19. You're allowed to do this.' I've only done that with maybe three people in my life.' But one was on video."
How's that for filial wisdom?!! In the jetsetter world, it's not about morality, but looks and money. Now that she's safely past 19, how about charging and building up your blue chip stocks, Paris...Oops, sorry, you ALREADY did that!!
ANNA NICOLE: "THAT'S ALL FOLKS"...NOT!!
In the "Looney Toon" that keeps giving, the saga of alleged pill popper and diet pill peddler Anna Nicole Smith took another stomach turning twist. With her son's body still unburied and in the morgue 18 days after his death, photos of the grieving mother posing sexily in the warm Bahamian waters with her new unofficial hubby, personal full-service lawyer Howard K. Stern appeared in the media yesterday. The former Texas stripper and widow of an 89-year old cadaver celebrated the "commitment ceremony" by diving off a 41-foot catamaran just two weeks after the caesarean birth of her daughter by father unknown. She's reportedly come down with a post-operative infection from this witless misadventure. Meanwhile, in addition to Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead each claiming to be the baby's father, a third man has come forward saying the baby's his spawn...
Anna Nicole is the epitome of just how shallow the standards are for today's media stars. A gal with God given looks, an 8th grade education, an audacity reserved for the truly IQ challenged and a way with a stripper's pole & a doddering, decaying billionaire oilman rules the print & electronic media ad nauseum. We gave her the benefit of some well-placed doubt unntil she sold the last photos of her and her late son for over half a million dollars, hurriedly "married" her lawyer, proclaiming him her "baby daddy" and then posed seductively, smiling from ear to ear in some cheesecake photos she knew would go around the world while her beloved son is still in a cold, crypt drawer at the morgue. A class act is a class act...LOW CLASS forever...
WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE...A NEWLY MINTED PAIR OF 40 DOUBLE D'S...
There's a boob bandit on the loose in Germany who got her breasts surgically enlarged and then fled the clinic without paying. In an effort to recoup his $10,000 fee, the doctor has published a five column picture of the woman's naked breasts in what has to be the most unique wanted police poster ever!!
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
In a further display of "High School Antics 101", as Paris recoiled in pain amid some foul language from the beauty queen's mouth, the heiress' ex-boyfriend, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos pounced on the Playboy Playmate/"Dancing with the Stars" loser Moakler, bent back her wrists and poured a drink over her.
Paris and Moakler raced to the local police station to file charges against each other. No arrests have been made pending further investigation.
Paris would you please give Angelina and Madonna a call and get your ass to a Third World orphanage. Supporting the extended families of the paparazzi does not count as philanthropy on the world stage!
MOM PUTS MUZZLE ON PARIS' SKANKY MOUTH
The New York Post reports that: "Paris tells the new issue of Blender that she refused to perform oral sex on boyfriends until she was 19 because her mother told her it would leave her with 'holes in your face and craters...I totally believed her.' Paris said one of her boyfriends finally set her straight: 'He's like, Paris, you're 19. You're allowed to do this.' I've only done that with maybe three people in my life.' But one was on video."
How's that for filial wisdom?!! In the jetsetter world, it's not about morality, but looks and money. Now that she's safely past 19, how about charging and building up your blue chip stocks, Paris...Oops, sorry, you ALREADY did that!!
ANNA NICOLE: "THAT'S ALL FOLKS"...NOT!!
In the "Looney Toon" that keeps giving, the saga of alleged pill popper and diet pill peddler Anna Nicole Smith took another stomach turning twist. With her son's body still unburied and in the morgue 18 days after his death, photos of the grieving mother posing sexily in the warm Bahamian waters with her new unofficial hubby, personal full-service lawyer Howard K. Stern appeared in the media yesterday. The former Texas stripper and widow of an 89-year old cadaver celebrated the "commitment ceremony" by diving off a 41-foot catamaran just two weeks after the caesarean birth of her daughter by father unknown. She's reportedly come down with a post-operative infection from this witless misadventure. Meanwhile, in addition to Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead each claiming to be the baby's father, a third man has come forward saying the baby's his spawn...
Anna Nicole is the epitome of just how shallow the standards are for today's media stars. A gal with God given looks, an 8th grade education, an audacity reserved for the truly IQ challenged and a way with a stripper's pole & a doddering, decaying billionaire oilman rules the print & electronic media ad nauseum. We gave her the benefit of some well-placed doubt unntil she sold the last photos of her and her late son for over half a million dollars, hurriedly "married" her lawyer, proclaiming him her "baby daddy" and then posed seductively, smiling from ear to ear in some cheesecake photos she knew would go around the world while her beloved son is still in a cold, crypt drawer at the morgue. A class act is a class act...LOW CLASS forever...
WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE...A NEWLY MINTED PAIR OF 40 DOUBLE D'S...
There's a boob bandit on the loose in Germany who got her breasts surgically enlarged and then fled the clinic without paying. In an effort to recoup his $10,000 fee, the doctor has published a five column picture of the woman's naked breasts in what has to be the most unique wanted police poster ever!!
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
Friday, September 29, 2006
SURPRISE!! PARIS HILTON'S A PHONY
& LINDSAY LOHAN'S AN INGRATE
Ah, the rich and famous are different than you and me...they do it bigger and badder...
Former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter is telling tales outta school to shtick jock Howard Stern about his former girlfriend Paris Hilton and their non-steamy sex life. "In the very beginning you know, she was literally cleaning my carpet in my apartment trying to act all domesticated. And then, before you know it, a month or two goes by and it's back to the old nose up in the air and who are you?"
Hey, Nick...maybe YOUR lovemaking wasn't up to snuff and SHE couldn't fake it anymore!
Well, the guy who found and returned a million bucks worth of diamond jewelry to a grateful, no longer distraught Lindsay Lohan, has yet to receive a thank you from the star of Mean Girls. According to Page Six, chauffeur Tom Webster, "found the star's missing Hermes bag that was stuffed with $1 million worth of jewelry and her asthma medicine at Heathrow Airport earlier this month. He says Lohan's London rep promised him a reward or a thank you note, but so far he's received neither."
Lindsay you're lookin' like less than a million bucks and more like a genuine, bona fide MEAN GIRL. Clean up your act already, and then maybe you'll be able to keep a boyfriend of Harry Morton's calibre!
Fun times with your 3-year old...
"A 3-year old boy in Lincolnshire, England, used his mother's computer to buy a car on eBay for $17,100," according to the New York Post.The seller was kind enough to cancel the bid.
Young Jack's next move is to found a toddler eBay site where he can get bids on baby car seats, old bottles and outdated baby formula. We bet he gets a seat on the New York Stock Exchange before he's 4.
Dead Celebrities are Alive and Well in the Land of Commerce
Audrey Hepburn, dead for 13 years, is now starring in an ad campaign for the Gap, elegantly dancing in a scene from "Funny Face", a movie she made 50 years ago. The spot hawks slender, black Gap jeans for a New Millennium of consumers. The ever magical Hepburn joins her dead show biz friends Fred Astaire (Dirt Devil), John Wayne (Coors) and Humphrey Bogart (Diet Coke) on the posthumous marketing campaign trail.
We love the style and panache of Old Hollywood so it's fun to see them as really classy snake oil salespeople. They are, and always will be, the gift that keeps giving!!
Young Jack's next move is to found a toddler eBay site where he can get bids on baby car seats, old bottles and outdated baby formula. We bet he gets a seat on the New York Stock Exchange before he's 4.
Dead Celebrities are Alive and Well in the Land of Commerce
Audrey Hepburn, dead for 13 years, is now starring in an ad campaign for the Gap, elegantly dancing in a scene from "Funny Face", a movie she made 50 years ago. The spot hawks slender, black Gap jeans for a New Millennium of consumers. The ever magical Hepburn joins her dead show biz friends Fred Astaire (Dirt Devil), John Wayne (Coors) and Humphrey Bogart (Diet Coke) on the posthumous marketing campaign trail.
We love the style and panache of Old Hollywood so it's fun to see them as really classy snake oil salespeople. They are, and always will be, the gift that keeps giving!!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Young Hollywood Goes Wild
"Mary Kate Olsen has been the victim of man-stealers in the past. (She lost Stavros Niarchos to Paris Hilton, who then lost him to Lindsay Lohan)... kept a tight rein on her new unidentifiable "rocker-type beau" when she and sister Ashley hung out at Bungalow 8," according to "Page Six". The tiny twin got into a huge fight with another gal and then started a torrid make-out session with him to mark her territory.
Stavros Niarchos is the grandson of the late shipping billionaire who married two sisters, TINA ONASSIS and her sister EUGENIE. They both ended up dead during their marriage to the elder Niarchos. Many suspect Niarchos beat Eugenie to death. Tina then married him to spite her ex-husband ARISTOTLE ONASSIS, Niarchos's rival in the Greek shipping business. The international beauty was found dead of a drug overdose shortly thereafter. So Mary Kate, Paris and Lindsay better a rocker-type beau than a Greek bearing gifts!!
Speaking of Lindsay Lohan, she's been hospitalized again after breaking her left wrist in two places after a fall at a New York Fashion Week party on Friday. She flew home to LA and the fabulous PerezHilton.com reports that Lindsay paid another visit to the ER on Sunday. "She appeared to be in alot of pain and a hospital source reveals she was prescribed painkillers."
Could Lindsay still have been upset after a yelling match with her mom Dina at a NY restaurant where they were celebrating Dina's 60th birthday party? Distraction is one of the leading causes of accidents. Lindsay told her mom to "go to hell" according to the NY POST, and stormed out leaving her mother "crying and shaking". Seems Dina got distracted too, failing to leave a tip on the $2,000 bill. Both distracted ladies did get together the next evening after Dina drove in from her Long Island home to visit Lindsay in the ER. Perhaps a little less partying and more quality family time in therapy would help?!!
Can You Guess Who? From "Page Six" of the NY POST..."WHICH famous tycoon's ex-wife keeps getting "exhausted"? Every few months, she checks into the Passages of Malibu rehab center for a "rest"... Seems poet Edna St. Vincent Millay was on to something over 70 years ago when she wrote: "My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night..." Fame & fortune can be good for the wallet and ego but bad for one's health.
What's Johnny Depp's pet fetish since his high school days?
For the answer, listen to Thursday's Starr Secrets podcast!!
Now go out there and have a great day making everyone's head SPIN!!
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