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Tuesday, April 24, 2007


SUPERSTAR HAS GORGEOUS LESBIAN WIFE AND GAY BEST BUDDY…GUESS WHO? For the last year, the press questioned the manhood of this female wet dream. They felt his bisexual second wife wore the pants in the family, and that her total domination compromised his virility. The sexy hunk everyone knew vanished, replaced by a pussy-whipped puppet.

Brad and Angelina? NOT.

They were talking about the silent film matinee idol Rudolph Valentino, whose status as The World’s Greatest Screen Lover wasn’t helped by the fact that his two wives were lesbians. The Russian actress Nazimova, Hollywood’s notorious lesbian den mother and Nancy Reagan’s godmother, introduced Rudy to both ladies. Giving an Art Deco dildo with a cutesy inscription to his gay buddy, screen scorcher Ramon Navarro, raised a few eyebrows, too. Four decades later, two gay hustlers rammed the dildo down the aged Novarro’s throat, killing him in his Laurel Canyon home.

Eighty years after Valentino’s death at age 31, Tinseltown is again abuzz with doubts about the cojones of its current “Sexiest Man Alive”, Brad Pitt. A disenchanted fan recently expressed a sentiment that seems rampant in many Internet chat rooms: “Brad’s total submersion into the bisexual Angelina’s baby besotted, globetrotting lifestyle seems to have turned him from Sexiest Man Alive into a pussy-whipped male nanny in less than a year’s time.” Apparently, the advent of the 21st century has done little to alter the traditional perception of what makes a man a man.

An interesting footnote: Before their respective global adoptions, domestic bliss and quest to channel Mother Teresa... Angelina Jolie and Madonna enjoyed the favors of the same lesbian lover, the loose lipped Jenny Shimizu. Angelina once said of the long term relationship: “I would have married Jenny if I hadn’t married my (first) husband.” But motherhood and forming a Rainbow Tribe changes everything. Just ask Josephine Baker, a sexy, courageous black entertainer who fled 1920’s racism in America to gain international fame in Paris, dancing naked except for a string of bananas around her waist. After romancing the married King Gustav VI of Sweden and joining the French Resistance, smuggling out wartime secrets written in invisible ink on her sheet music, she began her own Rainbow Tribe. This original Mother of Reinvention adopted 12 kids while on world tours “to show the world that children of different ethnicities and religions can love and live as brothers and sisters.” Baker’s adoption record was broken by actress Mia Farrow...Frank Sinatra’s ex and Woody Allen’s muse until he sucked face with her teen Korean daughter, Soon Yi. This secular saint’s Rainbow Tribe consists of 14 ethnically diverse kids (many disabled) and an ex-husband who was still married when their courtship began. Like Angelina and Madonna, Mama Mia also regularly visits Africa to do battle for the health and safety of kids. Hmm, the misery of one cheated on wife versus the happiness and well-being of millions of children…We can’t afford to be petty.

Quote of the Day.....

"Frank's bigger than THAT!"

Ava Gardner to Grace Kelly, after flipping up a Masai warrior's
loincloth on the Mogambo set to reveal a humonguous male member.

Little did sultry Ava know that the demure future
Princess of Monaco already knew this fact FIRST-HAND
about Ava's husband, Frank Sinatra.