Continuing her copycat ways, Madonna is now one-upping Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. She's adopted a 13 month old African tot who's not even an orphan! After seeing a boost in Namibia's tourist trade after Brangelina's sojourn there for the birth of their daughter, the country of Malawi decided to be a copycat, too, and granted Madonna special dispensation for adopting little David Banda.
New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser articulated what many readers e-mailed in a story headlined: Shameless Star Buys an African Souvenir..."(Madonna) has her heart set on raping Malawi. Days ago, she lined up 12 African boys, hand selected for her scrutiny. She picked out 1 year old David to take home in her luggage...The boy selected in this freakish slave auction is no AIDS orphan. He's got a biological father, plus a granny, but was placed in an orphanage after his mother died. His family loves him. They just can't afford to keep him. If Madonna possessed a speck of sanity or shame, she would write a generous check...Madonna should nail herself on her crucifix, for real this time."
Madonna's gone too far THIS time, even by her own ever devolving standards for reinvention. There's talk that hubby Guy Ritchie is bitterly opposed to this latest publicity stunt, oops, sorry... planned adoption. He feels his wife's daughter by another man and THEIR biological child is enough to cope with in view of his wife's unceasing efforts to conquer the world and put her brand on everyone's derriere. FREE LITTLE DAVID BANDA FROM VEGANISM, KABBALA INDOCTRINATION AND MEGLOMANIA NOW!!!
ANNA NICOLE TRAPPED IN HER OWN LOONEY TOON
Now the former stripper and TrimSpa poster girl has shed another 200 pounds... her Bahamian lawyer. He's like so FIRED! Seems there were violent disagreements with Anna's personal, full-service lawyer and self-confessed "baby daddy", Howard K. Stern and her Bahamian mouthpiece Michael Scott. As Perez Hilton deduced: "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what probably happened: Anna and Howard wanted to do some shady shit and this lawyer dude would not lie!"
A lawyer who will not lie for his client? Isn't this grounds for a suit for incompetence and malfeasance?!!
MEL GIBSON INVOKES THE SODDI DEFENSE...
"Some Other Dude Did It" is the most mundane, classic defense invoked by millions of common criminals around the world when facing the music for their misdeeds. The usually imaginative and talented superstar billionaire, MEL GIBSON, showed an utter lack of originality and self-knowledge when he told ABC's Diane Sawyer in an interview aired this morning that his anti-semitic tirade the evening of his July 28 drunk driving arrest was not him talking. It was Jose Cuervo!! The Passion of the Christ director alleges that tequila was to blame for his "insane" behavior and he admitted that when drunk, he has the capacity to "murder inanimate objects", including toasters. He also went on to say that anyone who doesn't understand that what a drunk man rants and raves about is not anything that he would ever think of sober...
Oy vey, knock if off already and fess up to the WHOLE shmear, Mel. You cannot be successful in an AA program without RIGOROUS honesty. Your daddy Hutton bombarded you from the crib with his anti-semitic tirades and you had little choice. We know you love and honor your father...but grow up and think for yourself. And if you do share his views, be honest and tell the world the truth. The "truth" isn't a business decision. The truth is the truth. And by the way, your self-confessed vanity in gussying up for your mug shot speaks volumes about you, Mr, Gibson. What would Jesus do?
HOLD THE MAYO AND LETTUCE, BUT NOT THE POT...
Three Burger King workers in Los Lunas, New Mexico are in a pickle after serving two cops Whoppers sprinkled with marijuana. The hungry officers started chowing down when they noticed the meat had been sprinkled with a substance that looked like pot. A field test kit confirmed the illegal substance. The cops had the three overzealous employees for lunch...
Now be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
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