IS MEL GIBSON RESIGNING FROM THE TALIBAN?

In a pre-taped interview schedued to be aired this Thursday and Friday on Good Morning America, Mel Gibson tells ABC's Diane Sawyer about his drunken, anti-semitic rant during his DUI arrest on July 28, 2006:

"It was just the stupid ramblings of a drunkard, you know and... I need to heal myself and to be assuring and allay the fears of others and to heal them if they had any heart wounds from something I may have said. So, this is the last thing I want to be is that kind of monster."

Duh, what kind of a mea culpa is that, Mel?! Now we know you sat at the knee of your Holocaust denying dad, Hutton Gibson, and that you learned to dislike Jews in the cradle. But grow up!! You may say it was the booze talkin' and not you. To that we say:
"A drunk man says what a sober man thinks." (Check out our All Points Bulletin podcast: "Mel Gibson's Malibu Meltdown" for the down and dirty truth...)

ANNA NICOLE TAKES PEOPLE FOR A $1 MILLION RIDE...

In yet another spectacular display of bad taste, brand new mother AND grieving mom, Anna Nicole Smith, swam full bore into a Bahamian marital charade with her full service attorney Howard K. Stern and collected big bucks. People magazine paid $1 million for pictures of the phony baloney "wedding", non-binding in every country on the face of the earth, including Lichenstein.

After the faux ceremony, the giddy couple plunged into the balmy waters off their catamaran and ruined their perfectly pressed formal wedding attire. No word if the rental company is suing. After the guests toasted the couple with some mid-range champagne and apple cider, the wedding party enjoyed a lavish buffet of Kentucky Fried Chicken, complete with biscuits and gravy!!

It appears that a baby of uncertain paternity and a dead son proved to be more of a lucrative career move for Anna Nicole than marrying an 89 year old billionaire cadaver. The cash register keeps ringing. First, she sold the last photos of her late 20 year old son to the tabloids for over $600,000, and now she's cashed in for a cool million with the sale of photos of her non-wedding. Meanwhile, this Mother of the Year is accused of being a methadone addict who entered drug rehab in her 7th month of gestation. Her ex-lover Larry Birkhead also alleges the former stripper gave birth to a methadone addicted baby. Coincidentally, her son's autopsy revealed he died from a drug overdose of Zoloft and Methadone. His system had more than 7x the normal dosage of both drugs. Next stop: Mother Rehab?

TRUMP RAGS ON ANGELINA

That self-anointed arbiter of beauty and filial devotion, real estate maven Donald Trump pronounced reigning sex queen Angelina Jolie unattractive and a lousy daughter. Talking about Jolie's estrangement from her father, he told CNN's Larry King last night:

"Well, look, number one, I know her father. Her father is a nice guy. I think she treats him like a dog but maybe they have some kind of a thing. I think he's a great actor and she just treats him terribly. She's been with so many guys she makes me look like a baby, OK, with the other side. And, I just don't even find her attractive."

A meglomaniacal, billionaire global brand obviously can shoot from the hip with little or no introspection and get away with it. First off, being a great actor does not make one a great father. Her dad Jon Voight was a married man (like Trump), when he cheated on his wife quite publicly (like Trump), and caused much pain to his children. Jolie remembers watching the Oscars with her mother and brother with little food in the house as her nominee father paraded his girlfriend before the cameras. (What a great guy!) She vowed she would never let that kind of betrayal be part of her life when she grew up. Word is that she did not become intimate with Brad Pitt until his divorce papers were signed. Their daughter Shiloh was born 9 months later. Mr. Trump obviously has amnesia when it comes to his own behavior. And who cares if he finds Jolie attractive, his attentions would be better placed at finding himself a new hair stylist!

WATCH OUT, YOU COULD BE STUCK ON A WALTZ....

Here's a new way for couples to make sweet music together. It's a musical condom designed to play louder and faster as the sex becomes more passionate. The harmonious device will soon be on sale in the Ukraine.


Now be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...