Skanky hotel heiress/amateur porn star Paris Hilton took a closed fist punch to the jaw from former Miss USA Shanna Moakler hours after the celebrity gossip website TMZ posted a video of Hilton making out with Moakler's estranged husband, former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker at a crowded nightclub.
In a further display of "High School Antics 101", as Paris recoiled in pain amid some foul language from the beauty queen's mouth, the heiress' ex-boyfriend, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos pounced on the Playboy Playmate/"Dancing with the Stars" loser Moakler, bent back her wrists and poured a drink over her.
Paris and Moakler raced to the local police station to file charges against each other. No arrests have been made pending further investigation.
Paris would you please give Angelina and Madonna a call and get your ass to a Third World orphanage. Supporting the extended families of the paparazzi does not count as philanthropy on the world stage!
MOM PUTS MUZZLE ON PARIS' SKANKY MOUTH
The New York Post reports that: "Paris tells the new issue of Blender that she refused to perform oral sex on boyfriends until she was 19 because her mother told her it would leave her with 'holes in your face and craters...I totally believed her.' Paris said one of her boyfriends finally set her straight: 'He's like, Paris, you're 19. You're allowed to do this.' I've only done that with maybe three people in my life.' But one was on video."
How's that for filial wisdom?!! In the jetsetter world, it's not about morality, but looks and money. Now that she's safely past 19, how about charging and building up your blue chip stocks, Paris...Oops, sorry, you ALREADY did that!!
ANNA NICOLE: "THAT'S ALL FOLKS"...NOT!!
In the "Looney Toon" that keeps giving, the saga of alleged pill popper and diet pill peddler Anna Nicole Smith took another stomach turning twist. With her son's body still unburied and in the morgue 18 days after his death, photos of the grieving mother posing sexily in the warm Bahamian waters with her new unofficial hubby, personal full-service lawyer Howard K. Stern appeared in the media yesterday. The former Texas stripper and widow of an 89-year old cadaver celebrated the "commitment ceremony" by diving off a 41-foot catamaran just two weeks after the caesarean birth of her daughter by father unknown. She's reportedly come down with a post-operative infection from this witless misadventure. Meanwhile, in addition to Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead each claiming to be the baby's father, a third man has come forward saying the baby's his spawn...
Anna Nicole is the epitome of just how shallow the standards are for today's media stars. A gal with God given looks, an 8th grade education, an audacity reserved for the truly IQ challenged and a way with a stripper's pole & a doddering, decaying billionaire oilman rules the print & electronic media ad nauseum. We gave her the benefit of some well-placed doubt unntil she sold the last photos of her and her late son for over half a million dollars, hurriedly "married" her lawyer, proclaiming him her "baby daddy" and then posed seductively, smiling from ear to ear in some cheesecake photos she knew would go around the world while her beloved son is still in a cold, crypt drawer at the morgue. A class act is a class act...LOW CLASS forever...
WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE...A NEWLY MINTED PAIR OF 40 DOUBLE D'S...
There's a boob bandit on the loose in Germany who got her breasts surgically enlarged and then fled the clinic without paying. In an effort to recoup his $10,000 fee, the doctor has published a five column picture of the woman's naked breasts in what has to be the most unique wanted police poster ever!!
Now, be the FIRST to go out and spin the down and dirty truths behind the headlines...
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